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Update: They’ve drawn blood. I have mini paper cuts everywhere. The menaces are growing blood thirsty, this may be my last message before they find me.

One minute I am dad, next I am food. My one gosling has decided to terrorize me on occasions by believing my fingers, hand, arms, and just about anything else is food. It’s teaching the other one the habit now and they’re both either gnawing on me or whatever else they can find. It was cute at...