Quote:
I'm betting that won't satisfy the 6 y.o.<g>
My daughter has two boys, 3 and 5. Last winter she was pregnant....just barely...hadn't planned on telling them yet but the 5 yo.....very , very intelligent/inquisitive and observant....noticed she was vomiting often and had to eat crackers a lot. He also heard mommy and daddy whispering and he made sure to listen and figured it out....and told his little brother.....and his teacher....and his friends....and the guy walking by on the sidewalk. You get the picture. He was so excited as he'd been begging them to have a baby and they'd kept saying NO. This wasn't planned. (he later admitted he wanted a baby because then they'd have to get a bigger car with a tv in it! I said he was smart).(And they did get the minivan) Anyway, he wanted to know how the baby got inside mommy and what it looked like. Jake NEVER , EVER accepts a basic explanation for how things work. He has to know DETAILS and this was no different. Every simple thing they tried to tell him led to further, more detailed and insistent questions. (At 18 mos he was obsessed with how the automatic garage door openers worked and broke his other grandpa's opener by continuously opening and closing it to see how the gears worked and by 2 1/2 he'd figured out how the light in the fridge worked) Jake questioned them incessantly about how babies get made and wouldn't stop with any of the usual explanations and my daughter is pretty good about telling "it how it is". But she was at her wits end and didn't want to tell him the real details. She finally said.....ask your dad. Cop out. LOL Dad is a scientific type....as is Jake.....so they understand each other some of the time....as much as a 5 yo and 40 yo can. I had given Jake for his 5th b'day a life-sized book of the human body that explained the skeletal system, muscles, circulatory, etc and Dad got that book out and sat Jake down and showed him how a man was built and how the woman was built, where the baby grew in the uterus, etc. Thought that would be detailed enough for 5. Nope. How'd the baby get IN there? Ummm, well , like mommy said there is an egg in the mommy and it's fertilized by the daddy's sperm. Well,says Jake, how does the sperm find the egg? Oh, ummmmmmm, well, ok, here's what happens and dad explains the way it really works to Jake....exactly the way it happens....the "special hug" thing didn't work for Jake.
Jake was then satisfied. That's all he wanted....the FACTS.
Then he wanted to know how the baby came out.....so back to the book and another anatomy lesson.
Jake was not bothered by knowing what goes on in 'mating'. But the next day he proceeded to tell his '5 yo girlfriend' how they were going to make a baby when they grew up and got married(in detail)!!!! They were riding in the back of their car and my daughter nearly wrecked the car! She then had to explain to this precocious 5 yo about inappropriate conversations with the opposite sex.....and warn the girl's mother about the conversation.
My daughter lost her baby a few weeks later. It was very hard on all of them and the boys were included in the grieving....and Jake went to school and explained the loss to everyone there, too. There are no secrets in that house! <g>
The 3 y.o. is just a regular kid, not like his brother. He was happy with the usual explanations. But both boys talk openly about the baby that died and it helped them deal with it....and mommy too.
My chickens live in the house in my bird room. They're just now getting old enough for mating and the head roo is not shy about it. If Jake were to notice I wouldn't be afraid to tell him what it was but it really does happen so fast that they most likely won't notice anything except that one chicken is picking on another.
So, just tell the kids as much as they seem to need to know. Maybe they will be happy with very simple explanations but if not, don't be afraid to tell them more if they need it. It's better than having them imagine the wrong thing in their minds and then tell THAT to someone else.
And just remember Jake and be glad yours are regular kids! LOL
Paula
