All I do is complain to you guys...

[HobokenChickenEmergency]

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We have (he has, but I'm going too!) a court date this month for a child support adjustment.

Apparently his ex filed to ask for MORE money, so this should be interesting. At the last hearing, the judge didn't take into account that he had remarried, but he DID take into account the fact that his ex wasn't working, was getting TANF, and had 2 kids to support--one of whom is the result of her cheating on dh. The judge said dh's child support should bring her income (including welfare), up to minimum wage. We'll be having the same judge again, since it's a small town in a different county and the old fart refuses to die or retire. Also the same judge who processed their divorce and custody hearings. We tried moving it to our county, where we at least stand a chance of getting a judge who SOMETIMES treats fathers fairly, but the court says we can't change jurisdictions. Again, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I never heard of child support being ordered to enable someone to remain on welfare before. When I went to court in Wisconsin for my child support, they used a sliding scale standard for deciding support. For 2 kids, I get 29% of my ex's base pay. But this is Indiana, where things are totally different.

 

[HobokenChickenEmergency]

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I read that same study! LOL I say "I feel like.." and dh hears, "You make me feel like...", even if it has absolutely nothing to do with him. I can't whine about the weather without setting sail on a guilt trip. It's like I'm married to my mother, I'm sure.

We have a "date" to talk tonight, for what it's worth.

The kids are blissfully unaware of what's going on. My oldest is at camp (thanks, Mom!), and the other 3 are wondering aloud if we can have pizza again today.

Their summer lives mostly consist of playing outside, riding their bikes, and coloring, so...they're happy and that's all that really matters to me.

 

[saddina]

Sent you a pm on an idea, not gonna put it here.

 

[HobokenChickenEmergency]

Ok, so dh just called me. He's more stressed out by all this than he lets on, which makes me feel a little better.

Anyway, he called his ex-BIL from work. Ex-BIL calls him every now and then when he needs an extra hand at work, so dh thought he'd ask him about working there full-time. It's a roofing company, which is what dh used to do before starting at his current crappy job. I just pray that the economy isn't affecting their hiring.

He's going to trailer the car home from work so he can adjust the timing belt here, instead of driving back and forth. I have no idea how long it takes to adjust it, so I can only hope it won't be a long, drawn-out process. I'm starting to wish I was Amish.

He also agreed to go grocery shopping when he gets home, and to stick to the list.

I called Workers Comp and spoke to an actual human being. She emailed me a form for him to fill out so they can talk to his boss about why he wasn't paid for time off for medical visits. He had 4 dr's appointments last week, and 3 the week before for a work-related injury, and he didn't get paid for time off for any of them. He tried talking to his boss himself, but he just told him to talk to his wife in payroll, and SHE said their accountant told her they didn't have to pay him if he wasn't working. I have a few choice words for her myself, but I should probably keep my mouth shut until he gets a different job.

 

[saddina]

The labor board would be very interested to know how they're running things, specifically at the Shift to percentage pay, and the workman's comp thing, once he's hired elsewhere, don't forget to file to get paid retroactivly.

 

[scbatz33]

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It may be initially set by income, but I know of many instances where man's salary went down and the courts said "get another job". They rarely - if ever - lower the payment

 

[WriterofWords]

If you are really that unhappy, you need to look at your options and make a decision.

 

[ams3651]

do you have any employment skills? sounds like he should stay home with the kids while you go out to work and do the shopping. Does he have a car to go to work?

 

[saddina]

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If it wasn't for the homeschooling detail this can work out, but it may not be wise to leave the kids' education to someone who isn't really really organized, and really really invested. We did it, hubby could handle teaching a class or 2 a week, but he lacks the paperworks and time managment skills to handle 30-35 lessons a week, and the kids would suffer.

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

I've just got to say that I think your way of writing and telling your story is wonderful. I can clearly see everything you are saying (picturing you taking the garbage out and finding no bags, etc.)....
Perhaps you should write a book down the road.

Boy, we have all hit those rough spots. My DH and I call it Boom and BUST. Some years we're booming, most of them-well we're BUSTING.

Hang in there, take a deep breath, a hot bath, relax a little.