Am I right to be upset?

[jimz1]

Please bear with me while I vent. My neice moved in with my wife and I in Feb. after a few years on her own in Phoenix. She asked us if she could move in because We have room and supposedly, for now, I'm her favorite uncle. Conditions were, she would have to keep her room clean,( she has most of the upstairs to herself), help with laundry, load and unload dishwasher,and help keep downstairs clean and help with groceries. The most unimportant part was rent. We told her when she got on her feet just throw a little money our way. Well, it's been 6 months now, and she does do laundry, but She is a pig. The upstairs is filthy. dirty dishes left out, clothes all over the place. She hasn't once cleaned the living room, loaded the dishwasher twice, never helped with groceries, and only psid us $100. Like I said, money isn't that important, but she will go out and spend at least $100 on shoes she doesnt need, she has about 10 pairs. She babysits for friends at our house instead of their houses.
Last night was the last straw. My wife hinted around before to her about not wanting other peoples kids here(We don't want to babysit) and she brings 2 kids over, anyway. I told her she can't bring anymore kids over. I think she got a little mad.
Are we wrong?
Thanks for reading and letting me vent.

 

[ChickyLove]

How old is your neice?

In my opinion there needs to be a clearly defined contract, written out and explained to her in detail. Id she is living in your home rent free, then she needs to help in other areas as she agreed. If she is unwilling to uphold her end, then she needs to find somewhere else to be. You can love your family, but you don't have to let them freeload and disrespect/disregard the wishes you and your wife have for your home and it's cleanliness. No, I don't think you are wrong.

 

[chicmom]

Um.....ahem....how old is your niece? You have been MORE than patient. Sounds like she needs "the boot" to me! Does she work? Babysitting isn't much of a job. Does she go to college?

She is taking advantage of you. Either stand up for yourselves and make some rules, or give her 30 days to move out.

 

[kidcody]

Went through the same issues with a nephew, I completely understand it is so frustrating!

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Quote:
Definately taking advantage! Sounds like she is disrespecting your home and generosity. I personally (because I am strict and like rules) would start by throwing away the mess she is making, whether that be clothes everywhere, dishes being left out, etc. and tell her NO KIDS period, no exceptions. If she doesn't like your rules then I'm sure she an find a new room mate that's more lenient and likes messes. If you are her only option, then she should have no problem following such simple rules. When paying rent, a tenant can keep their home as they please, but she isn't, so she needs to keep the home as YOU please. Plain and simple.

 

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
Yep! This!! Make her sign it.

 

[chickensioux]

She has taken advantage of this situation and you. You need to make up your mind if you want her to continue to live there and lay down the ground rules, in writing if nec., and stick to your guns on them. It is your house, your rules. Call for a little pow wow and let her know what is expected of her. It can be done firmly AND kindly. Good luck.

 

[jimz1]

She is 22 and does have a job and is taking online classes on child development. She is very good with children but she is very immature for her age.
She calls her rooms upstairs her dungeon. We've also offered to paint her bedroom and such for her but she says she can't find a color she likes. I don't want to kick her out but it is getting harder every day.

 

[brownlooknup]

Yep...need a contract and if she breaks it...give her a few days to get another place to live. Been there done that...Sometimes you have to have tough love. She will be upset...but it will pass. she will survive. Have a great day!

 

[EweSheep]

Better do it, lay down the law.....like a landlord would be with the tenant. tough love!