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I agree totally! I grew up Presbyterian and have attended pentecostal and baptist churches as well.. I think more churches need to focus on teaching the word, and letting the lord speak to us all through a "true preacher" I know alot of churches have to have preachers that have went to some school or takin some classes to be ordained however that's all fine and good as long as they were a called preacher to begin with not someone who just woke up one day and said "Oh i think I'd like to be a preacher" and not have a calling from god. I feel like there are preachers and then their are teachers.
I understand the the "idea" that the preacher is trying to make, he's wanting every member to have a good representation of the churches beliefs. Of which one belief is not living together before marriage. But I feel as though if he's goin to say that sin is not an acceptable act for church members then all others such as divorce, liars, gamblers, gossipers etc.. shouldn't be accepted as well.. but how are you goin to know if the members are up to par so to speak without watching them 24/7. Everyone is a sinner and some struggle with their sins more than others. I feel like him asking this, is just goin to stir up trouble and possibly divide up the church, and you'll have members leave.
I think he needs to not worry about the "reputation" of the church, and worry about the souls of his congregation. Preach the word and if the members are doing something thats wrong, the lord will speak through him to deliver the message they need to hear. Let them work out their convictions in their own time. In all honesty if someone doesn't feel convicted about their lifestyle their not goin to change it. Accept everyone with open arms, dont belittle them for their wrongs. Love them and show the way. In the end it doesn't matter what man says or thinks about someone its whats in their heart and soul that only god knows and only he can judge.
I hope for your sake that things work out, cause it seems you love your church and faith, and I'm sure its putting a damper on your spirit. The memebers need to pray and ask for the preacher to have guidance in his works. Dont never worry about what "MAN" says always put it in the lords hands and it'll work out..