Another Craigslist classic

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Pupsnpullets, Jul 25, 2010.

  1. Pupsnpullets

    Pupsnpullets Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I was feeling so sorry for you all about the last craigslist funny that was flagged (by CL, not the moderators here) that I found another funny that I've copied and pasted so it won't disappear [​IMG]


    best of craigslist > portland > To the Misinformed Animal Rights Activist Who �Liberated� My Chickens
    Originally Posted: Tue, 26 Jan 11:10 PST
    To the Misinformed Animal Rights Activist Who �Liberated� My Chickens
    Date: 2010-01-26, 11:10AM PST

    Dear Madam or Sir,

    Due to a long string of events surrounding the protest of a backyard poultry processing class to be held at my house (using old egg-laying hens from a local organic farm), you have decided it would be in the best interests of MY egg-laying hens to �liberate� them, i.e. steal them from my yard in the middle of the night. What worries me is not so much the trespassing, theft, harassment and dissemination of my private information (such as my home address) to the public, but is the complete misguided step you have taken to ensure I cannot care for my pets anymore. You have stolen my egg-laying hens, which I have raised from wee chicks, and relocated them to God-knows-where.

    There are two options here: you traumatized and killed my hens by setting them �free� in the wilderness, or, you hypocritically passed them on to someone else to enjoy the egg laying benefits.

    Let�s start with number 1: You took my four hens from my yard last night to set them free in their �natural environment� away from evil egg-eaters such as myself. They will die because they are domesticated animals and have no ability to fight for themselves. A raccoon will shred the chickens faster than you can beat your vegan meat. Great job, there, animal-lover. Was your plan to provide a nutritious meal to the scavenging raccoon population of Portland?

    Or, shall we go with number 2: You re-located my pets to some other house where the owners do not know the history of the chickens or have paid the love and attention I have given them for the past 2 years, i.e. raising them from chicks. You are a hypocrite for furthering a lifestyle that allows people to own domesticated livestock. Great job. Although chickens are not the smartest creatures of the animal kingdom, you can be assured they were still traumatized by your kidnapping and relocation process.

    What did you expect to accomplish, radical Portland animal rights activist? Did you think you would earn some cred with the Portland Animal Defense League who gave out all my roommate�s (and therefore my) private information on the internet? Did you want to thoroughly upset and sadden a chicken-owner trying to raise her own eggs instead of resorting to buying nameless farm factory eggs and supporting large corporations? If so, then let�s give you a pat on the back for your great success! I guess I will be buying my eggs from the store now and will look out into my backyard where my loving chickens once stood and wonder where to put my tasty vegetable scraps. Your jerk would be the next best location.

    Sincerely,

    Angie

    P.S. Return my chickens you ignorant fool. You bring a bad name to all activism.
     
  2. Sir Birdaholic

    Sir Birdaholic Night Knight

    MAY THE LICE OF 1000 CHICKENS INFEST THEIR CROTCH! [​IMG]
     
  3. patman75

    patman75 Chillin' With My Peeps

    This reminds me to buy locks for my coops.

    Crazy
     
  4. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Quote:[​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  5. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Quote:[​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  6. shellz131

    shellz131 Sams Memory Lane

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    [​IMG]
     
  7. Tigerjane

    Tigerjane Chillin' With My Peeps

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    whoa! Funny post, but horrible story
     
  8. michickenwrangler

    michickenwrangler To Finish Is To Win

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    [​IMG]

    He should hve also pointed out that spent hens are past their egg laying prime.
     
  9. JetBlack

    JetBlack Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:Yeah, but if you are an "activist" you don't want to use every part of the animal. In fact you don't want to use *any* part of the animal. Just let them die and then bury them. That is morally superior to making use of the animal, completely. [my eyes hurt from trying not to roll them]
     
  10. Oven Ready

    Oven Ready Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Something can do something... faster than you can beat your vegan meat

    This is one to put in your pocket and save for a time when you might need it.​
     

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