life demands they make changes such as going to college, getting a job, leaving home and forming relationships outside of the family.
Part of parenting is foreseeing this when the decision is made. Obviously it depends on the age of the child, and other factors.
Our kids are long moved out. But my wife and I used this as an opportunity for even more learning. We used to draft agreements with the child. Which in and of itself was a teaching moment. Outlining their and our responsibilities with said pets, and several other things we considered serious responsibilities. Contingencies were always a part of the agreement. They outline what should happen when the responsibilities you know they won't always uphold are broken.
Sometimes just drafting the agreement was enough to have the novelty wear off. Sometimes not. But it helps provide real consideration of the commitment.
Always knowing in our minds that circumstances and interests change. If the child's interest didn't align with our and our family goals, it was not something that came to pass. The buck stopped with us. One day we hope they learned that the buck stops with them when they had kids. Which has mostly been the case.
When our dogs had pups, our eldest wanted one. We knew full well he was of an age where he would move out before the dog died of old age. In that agreement was a recognition of this fact. He agreed to pay for any vet bills, and a monthly stipend for food should he not be able to take it with him. We didn't want it to be a burden to him. But he couldn't get out of it for free either. if he moved to a place where he couldn't take the dog. We knew we would keep it here than see it be a burden to a young man embarking on his life. He was adamant. So he had to provide mature consideration to these things. Child support for pets.
We wouldn't have agreed to do it if we weren't willing to ultimately carry the can. He was an awesome pup, so we found a way.
Of course kids are kids and parents are in reality made to be responsible for some of their choices. This thread is a great example.
Part of learning parenting is learning how to choose your battles. Because agreements will be broken. Mistakes will be made. Can't anticipate everything. The dog lived with us for a few years after he moved out. Then went back to him for a couple. Then back to us. The overriding rule was that pets are to never be re homed. They are for life.
Which is also why when the kids wanted a cockatoo the answer was always NO! They live longer than humans,
