Buddy is driving me NUTS! What am I doing wrong?

[thebritt]

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My husband does that sometimes with our dog and then he laments when she behaves badly. You might gently point out to DH that if both of you aren't consistent, behavior issues will be a big problem and Buddy will be a huge PITA to live with. The fact that he behaves properly for you shows that Buddy knows what is expected of him and is capable of behaving appropriately. He just doesn't realize it's expected from anybody but you.

Also, I can't be sure not witnessing the behavior myself, but it sounds to me like Buddy believes that he is ahead of your DH in the pack. Buddy is exercising his will over DH by doing as he pleases and commanding your DH to bring that food dish. It sounds rather emasculating to me and I wouldn't stand for it if I were the man of the house.

Good point, Anianna - DH doesnt admit that he could be part of the problem. I will, however, point out that Buddy is getting away with inappropriate behavior "occasionally", and that he may be confused as to what's ok and what's not, and with whom.
I'll try to think of a "gentle" way to have DH realize he's being taken advantage of....Any ideas? Go ahead and put words in my mouth!!!!!!!! He gets really defensive really easily

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[Slinkytoys]

Squirt bottle with nasty tasting Tea Tree Oil in it. Put the spray into a fine stream. When he barks, spray into mouth. He'll get the idea (to stop). No hitting involved.
Slinky

 

[thebritt]

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We tried the citronella collar - dog barks and gets a spray under the nose. Buddy would bark, get sprayed, sneeze, and bark again - until the collar was empty (18-24 sprays per fill-up). First thing we had tried (back when we got him in Oct) was a squirt bottle filled w/water. Just made him bark and kinda made him PO'd

 

[Jamie_Dog_Trainer]

If you would like to call me I'll PM you my phone number

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[thebritt]

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Jamie, that would be AWESOME! The trainer we have one more visit with is really nice, but I think Buddy is the first one of his kind she's dealt with.
Check this out - last night we had Ludwig (GP) and Buddy both in the living room, w/in sight of each other, and they both slept! Ludwig was at the groomer's yesterday, so he smelled strongly of "being at the groomers". Ludwig was sleeping when I clipped his leash on. I then had Buddy come in and lay on his pillow and clipped his leash on. Buddy sniffed the air and focused on Ludwig and emitted a low growl. I said "No, quiet". Ludwig looked up, saw Buddy, and emitted a low growl. I repeated, "No, quiet" to Ludwig. I thought this would be THE time to quietly give each dog a treat for being quiet, even though they knew each other was only 10 feet away, so I went to the fridge, got out a few of the baked hot dog treats I used to give Buddy, and gave a couple to each dog - as they lay quietly, and told them "Good boys, being quiet.". Then I sat on the couch (as I face the TV, Ludwig's on the left in the corner, and Buddy's on the right, so I can see them both. After about 15 seconds, Ludwig put his head back down with a "hmfff", not facing Buddy, and Buddy curled up on his pillow, put his head down, and was napping w/in moments...

This whole "Settle" thing has been KEY! Again, Jamie, THANK YOU!