Building a farm .. Updated 8/24 Complete/ *PICS*

[Hillbilly Hen]

Quote:
Well said, I could not agree more.

 

[texasgal]

I knew I could count on your guys for perspective .. Thanks to all of you!

I hesitated to post my feelings, because I know it's easy to jump on the "bash DH" bandwagon. But this is not really anything that he and I haven't discussed before .. I wouldn't worry to much if he read it (except HE would worry about what everyone ELSE was thinking about him .. LOL)

Anyway, it's just a thorn in my already exhausted side right now .. and I needed a place to vent.

I appreciate each and every one of you .. and your perspective ..

DH IS a "provider" in every since of the word .. and he IS probably just as stressed over trying to provide the best ..

 

[thaiturkey]

Whatever we could do, it could always look better if we spent more money on it. There's no limit to what we might spend, is there? Well, there is. If we spend more than we have there will be no happiness, except for the bank when we default.

You have a budget, you agreed the rules. You both should stick to it. More debt will bring more unhappiness and you might as well bite the bullet now as face worse problems later.

Here's a pic. of houses in the next village to ours. Yes, they are falling down. They look worse close to where you are able to see through the gaps in the walls the lack of furniture and other facilities. Their kitchens are woks on gas burners outside. No laminate, let alone granite. Their toilets are French style squats with no running water. Many people out here have no choice but to live like that. I complain about our chicks' temporary coop but it's better than quite a few homes around here, at least to the extent that the mosquitoes don't get in every night and bite the sleeping young ones.

Many country folk in Thailand are rice farmers and the water agency has just told them to expect water for only one crop this year instead of the usual two. There is no welfare state here. The income from two crops doesn't provide a standard of living anything like Westerners demand as a right. Half the usual income will force many to catch flies by fluorescent light at night so that they can have some protein with their rice at breakfast. But they smile and chat as if their lives are perfect. Perhaps they should strive to break free from their poverty but then they would be as debt ridden and employer, tax man and bank loan driven as many Westerners - and no longer smiling and no longer caring for each other.

Tell your husband about this and suggest to him that he gets his priorities right.

I'm sorry if this reads like a rant and I really am on your side! I despair at the never ending drive for more that has infested the West for too long. A few months in a traditional village here would cure anyone of excess materialism and the 'keep up with the Jones's' disease. Send him over!

I hope that everything settles down for you. It would be such a pity if your joint project led to serious domestic disharmony. Building just aren't worth that. Good luck to you.

 

[TipsyDog]

TexasGal: Please don't be "embarrased"!!! Are you kidding? I think you guys should be extremely proud of yourselves! Your home is beautiful. I live in something less than anything you're building and I CAN afford better, but for who? The neighbors? The tax man? When we re-did our kitchen a couple of years ago I insisted on laminate countertops. Granite was all the rage then and I must have been the only one ordering it. I even got comments by the kitchen salesman about it. While I can easily afford granite that wasn't the point. I'm practical. Think of how many times I can replace my countertops until I get to the price of granite.

I know some people are very concerned with "the Jones" but those days are over. It's much more important to save some $$ for the future nowadays and make sure you can keep that roof over your head. Unfortunately alot of people went alittle nuts and are now deep in debt and losing those big beautiful homes. Be grateful and keep your head held high!

Maybe you can come up with a plan for DH to give him hope of getting what he wants in the future - like in x number of years when we have x amount of equity, we'll redo the fireplace or kitchen, etc.

 

[boxermom]

Thanks for the peek at reality thaiturkey. I think we all need to have a look at that once in awhile. I know I do.

 

[texasgal]

Quote:
This ..

Some folks from our church went to South America on a mission trip. They, too, realized that many of the "poor" village people were so much more peaceful and happy because they didn't KNOW they were "poor" .. they didn't know they were "missing" all the extras that we think are necessities.. THAT really really spoke to me. We are sooooo overly blessed in this country .. at a huge cost to us in TRUE joy, and peace, and contentment and relationships .. We are so busy busy busy .. trying to have have have ...

I'm lovin' the perspective folks!!

 

[EweSheep]

Personally your house is beautiful!

Your husband and mine are alot alike and we do have our issues wanting to be heard and how functionality works over than by the looks of cabinets, countertops, etc. My husband can not make a theme out of any room, more like the hodge pots of sorts, mis-matched furnitures and there is no "zen" in his living space. He does not like Victorian themes so we had to compromise by using a combination of the two, Victorian and Cape Cod/modern style which we can be happy with.

I agree with thatiturkey!

 

[Wifezilla]

Hi thaiturkey. Thanks for some perspective. As for the issues with the water, maybe there is a way to get 2 "crops" from one rice planting.

http://www.permacultureusa.org/2009/03/06/the-one-duck-revolution/
http://www.ratical.com/co-globalize/MaeWanHo/bird99.html

 

[thaiturkey]

Quote:
Great idea, thank you! Fish find their way into the rice fields of their own afford. Ducks might just catch on.

My sister in law has laying ducks under her rice store - they never see water except in their drinking bowl and never venture out. I'll have a word with her now that planting has finished.

 

[rileysgranny]

Your new home is BEAUTIFUL! Tell your DH that ya'll can always upgrade things as time goes on. Enjoy your beautiful new home. I love the front porch and the pine doors. You are a lucky family to get to live this dream.