Can I join the club?

Welcome to the club. I don't care much for chopping either, nor do I like neck wringing. I have a friend who's an avid fisherman and likes the hackles to tie flies. Chopping the heads off make too much of a mess to be able to give him anything. Wringing the neck, IMO, make a mess of the neck and that's meant for the stock pot.

What I did most recently was hang them upside down and slit the throat. Then I stuck the knife (it was thin bladed) in the mouth and drove it through the roof and into the brain. I had read about it on here somewhere. They flopped a little, but not all that much. I felt much better knowing that bird hadn't simply "bled out". I think I'll stick with that method. I was trying to be especially compassionate b/c I had allowed myself to become very attached to that roo.
 
I know there has been a lot written on these pages on the question of whether it's better to bleed or chop. I've read the opinions, and I can't bring myself to bleed. It seems too drawn-out to me. I prefer the sudden and final act of the hatchet.

Here's how I prevent any misfires: I have a heavy timber (4" x 8" about two feet long) with two big galvanized framing nails driven partly in at one end. They are driven in at an angle, with their points pretty close together, and their heads spread outward, in a V. I grab a rooster by his feet, hold him over the block of wood, set him down head-first into the V, and when I pull back on his feet, his head is held by the V, immobilized, and his neck is stretched out. Then, quickly, with my other hand (the one that isn't pulling lightly on his feet to keep a little tension on his head against the nails) I swing a sharpened hatchet. Because it's not a moving target, and because he's tight up against the chopping block, it's always a clean chop. Then I hang him by the feet on a clip made out of bent wire, over a bucket, and let him bleed out. From grabbing a surprised rooster by the feet to hanging a headless flapping rooster over a bucket, the whole thing takes seconds, and there's no chance for anything to go wrong.

That's just my 2 cents on how I assure myself of a clean, humane, quick and sudden chop.

(edited to fix spelling)
 
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