Chickerdoodle understands exactly.
Chickerdoodle, you EMTs are wonderful. The woman I was caring for last spring died when I was with her. It was a sticky situation because I had known for weeks that she was dying; she was showing all the stages that dying people pass through. But her kids wouldn't call in Hospice! It was so heartbreaking because I've seen death a lot but I'm not an expert. She would ask me what was going on with her, but I'm not qualified to say outright, "Mary, you're dying and I think you'll pass on in just a few weeks." I mean, what if I'm wrong and traumatize her for nothing? That worried me more than liability issues. So on the day she died, she was in her recliner and was complaining that she couldn't see. I was pretty sure she was dying, but what if I was wrong? I had been suggesting for DAYS that she let me get her to the hospital, but she always adamantly refused to go. She even told the home health nurse who visited that morning that she refused to allow me to take her or call paramedics. My unbending policy is that I do whatever my client asks, as long as it isn't illegal and as long as the client isn't conserved, but privately I had decided that I would call 911 as soon as she didn't respond to me. Anyway, so she's sitting in her chair and asks me to call her daughter (who was then and still is my client as well). I get her daughter on the phone and then bring the phone over to Mary. My client says, "Hi, mom. Isn't this a gorgeous day? I've been thinking of you all morning. How are you?" When Mary opens her mouth to answer, I hear the death rattle and she collapses. Good, lord, what do you do in a situation like that? Her daughter has muscular dystrophy and her heart is frail. I was so panicked. How do you tell someone their last beloved parent has died on the phone with them? I get to KNOW my clients emotionally. I knew my current client wasn't prepared for her mother's death. She had been avoiding facing the issue for many months. Well, I just held Mary's head upright and told my client that Mary was having a difficult time and that I needed to call the paramedics (family had called 911 for several situations in the months previous). As I did that I noticed Mary's shoulder twitch and I thought that perhaps she hadn't died, so I continued to hold her head upright to keep her airway open. (She had specifically told me NOT to resuscitate her and she had a DNR order.) I don't remember anything after that, except watching Mary and checking for a carotid pulse, until I heard a voice above me say,
"It's okay. I have her now."
I was on my knees and looked up into eyes I'll never forget. I don't know how to put this into words, but this man cared beyond professionalism. He cared because he was human, in the best sense of the word. What I saw in his eyes was what made the NY firefighters go into the burning World Trade center buildings and up the stairs. And beyond that, it turned out that Mary didn't have her DNR on the premises, so the EMTs had to try to resuscitate her. She had, with good reason, been petrified of being brought back with brain damage, so I started shaking and crying hysterically, thinking "what if... what if... what if..." I don't have the words to express how wonderful those EMTs were. The guy talking to me kept shifting around so his body blocked my view of what they were doing to her. He kept telling me what to do next: "get me a list of Marys' medications, get me her medication schedule, get me her medical insurance card, get me her primary care physician's name and phone number, get your purse, get your coat, get your keys, here's a map of where we're taking her." By the time they were loading Mary into the firetruck he had me calmed down and functioning again. I know you are trained professionals. But these men went beyond professionalism. They were human, in the old-fashioned sense of the word, when people used to think humans were half-angelic.
EMTs who do the work for the love of it are a breed apart. All my words can't really express what I'm trying to say. I don't know the proper ones.
And, rebelcowboy, I myself am disabled. So is my son. The people I work with and have worked with are satisfied enough with my work that I have never, ever sought a care giving job. All my clients, from the very first one, have sought me out after having heard of me through word of mouth. I do not advertise and I do not seek out seek out my positions. I have never worked through an agency or for a hospital or care giving facility. My previous employer passed away last April, but I started my next job 2 days later. I have never gone without work, even in this economy. I regularly get calls from people asking me to work for them, and when one of my clients has passed on, as has happened several times, I have begun working for a new one within a few days.
So you, who do not know me at all, are dead wrong about how I treat my clients. If my clients were unsatisfied with our dealings, I would not be as successful as I have been.
I do not patronize my clients. I do not do what I do because they need help, though there is nothing wrong with needing help. I do what I do because the world at large needs everyone's participation, and I don't mean that sentimentally. Look around at the complex problems we're facing. We can't afford to leave anyone on the sidelines. Among my clients have been a computer programmer, a legislative analyst, an aeronautical engineer, a law student who is now serving an internship in Washington DC, an attorney, an executive with a pharmaceuticals company, and executive in my state's department of health and human services. Anyone who reads boasting here is totally off-base. The point isn't who I work for, but how much they had to offer their society. And the bald truth is that they wouldn't have been able to function like that without their caregivers.
This topic is reaching the point of getting unpleasant so I am no longer going to check it or respond to any more posts here. I apologize to anyone who might have something positive to say, but BYC isn't a place for disputes. I started this with a rant, sort of like yelling in frustration. I run across many posts here that offend me. I just ignore them and move on. I'm surprised that some people have gotten hooked in a negative way by my rant. I didn't intend that. That's why I'm locking down my participation in it.
