Children and euthanasia

My daughter has lost two lifelong pets in addition to the many farm animals etc. Each time, we have said goodbye as a family. We believe in our family it was our duty to surround our pets with as much love as we can as they ease out of this world and into the next.

The first time, it was our cat Cissy. She was old as dirt. My husband had inherited her from an elderly relative when he was 12. My daughter was about your son's age when Cissy developed a severe hernia. It was going to cost $500 to operate on her and she was in her mid 20's. We were going to pay for the surgery when her blood panel came back showing she had thyroid issues and would slowly die over the next year. So we decided it was time to say goodbye. We explained to my daughter that it was the slow unpleasant death that made us decided it was time and as a family we went in. My daughter had gathered up a bunch of Cissy's things to surround her with in her final moments. The vet explained to us that sometimes they just go to sleep, and sometimes there is movement etc. Cissy just went to sleep, then went limp. My daughter wanted to touch her, then hold her, but then it got messy as Cissy released her bodily fluids. The vets took her in back, cleaned her up and brought her back for us to take home.

My daughter had many questions about where she went, if she was Ok. She wanted to be involved in the burial and asked over and over again about Cissy and if she was OK. She still talks about that cat today 6 years later, but in a good way. She was not traumatized by being there at all and felt very included in her passing.

Our dog Mugsy had many of the same symptoms as HQ. He was 14 when he finally lost interest in his food. That was when we knew it was time. My daughter could not cope with having him cremated, and because we were building our houses on the farm at the time we had the backhoe dig a hole. We had prepared her for months that he would not make it much longer so she knew it was coming. She was 12 at the time. He just quietly laid his head on my lap and let go. My daughter was stroking his head and crying but she was there to see that Mugsy was at peace with his passing and truly ready. We loved him as a family, we said goodbye as a family. It took a lot longer for her to get over Mugsy. We even took some of his fur to Build a Bear and make a dog to hug when we were missing him. I had gotten Mugsy a year before she was born. She called him her Brother. She still misses him and cries for him sometimes 2 years later. We had gotten another dog a year before he died, we didn't want to bring a new dog into a grieving home.

Hope this helps.
Laney
 
I truly appreciate the caring replies. Thank you so much.

I understand the point made about letting Eric say goodbye to HQ, I really do understand. Even if I had read that before leaving, I don't think I would have changed my mind. I know what you were saying, I do, and it makes sense.

I won't wait to tell him. When the other animals died, I told him sooner rather than later. Especially when his favorite chicken died. The only difference between the other deaths and "HQ" is that he didn't "just" die, you know?

There will be a puppy before too long, I'm sure. I can't remember a time without a dog. Eric has never been without a dog. Geeze ... "HQ" has been with me longer than my husband and my son have
smile.png
. I think Eric is still young enough to appreciate growing up with a puppy.

Thanks to all of you again, for talking me through it.

27119_eric_and_hq.jpg

27119_1005072019.jpg

27119_august_29_2006_06.jpg
 
Quote:
Please be honest with him, I am 47 and we grew up with dogs. Unknown to me and my older sister , years ago one of our dogs got in the road and was killed. Daddy saw it as he was going to work , he took care of it so we would not see it while waiting for the bus. Their mistake, they never told us. We wondered what had happened for years! A few years ago at a family dinner, they finally admitted what had really happened. The feelings that I had, well it brought it all back and I cried, yes after all those years, but the thing is, I never got to grieve before.
So, I think it is best that he know the truth, the dog is having health problems and this is the best thing for him.

As far as cremation, well, I have my Blue Heeler, in a container on my Wall Unit. I had her put to sleep 10 years ago and cremated.
 
I don't intend to lie to him. I'm just not sure how to tell him, and deal with the aftermath. He's home now. I'm letting him have his snack while I hide out here in the den. I just made a cup of coffee.

I just feel like crap. I'm a mess. Between the crying and a cold I feel like my head is going to explode. And in a minute or two, 8 year old grief here we come ...
 
Lockedhearts,
I have nothing against cremation. My father and a Jack Russell Terrier share space on a shelf at my mother's. I plan to be cremated myself. I've always preferred burial for my animals. There was too much involved to actually bury my horse here, so he's buried in a 25 gallon spackle bucket. It never occured to us to take his cremains out of the bucket and bury him that way. Yeah ... I know LOL. My thing about leaving "HQ" at the vet for cremation was that I don't have a body for my son to see. He's always asked to see his dead pet's bodies; even the guinea pig in a zip lock bag in the freezer. I guess that's his way to confirm for himself.
 
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be honest with him. my mom and dad told me at age 8 that my dog ran off and they could not find him. i rode my bike for weeks searching for him and crying every night wishing he would come home. i found out when i was 18 what really happened and it just crushed me to know that mom and dad let me suffer for so long over the dog being lost.

secondly, death is part of life, he is old enough to understand. just be there for him when he is upset and help him through it.
 
Folks, the OP NEVER said or implied that she would lie. I understand how the emotions remains years and years later, but realise that the OP asked HOW to tell her son, not WHAT to tell him.
 

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom