Chronically Late people

[LittleChickenLady]

Quote:
Having ADD, ADHD, or OCD is not an excuse to be chronically late all the time. I have been diagnosed with all three of those disorders (OCD not nearly as bad as some people) but that doesn't make it harder for me to be on time. I will also say that I do not take my medicine unless I am doing schoolwork (I'm a college student) or am at work (I do data entry) so nobody can say, "Well you take medicine for those issues so that's how you can still manage to be on time."

If you're a person who's chronically late all the time, do something about it. It's extremely rude and selfish. Period.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

I will admit to being late at times. Chasing after kids, some days winds up being late.

However, late for me is crap I'm 10 minutes late and I'm begging forgiveness for being late. Heck, I come into work only 5 minutes before the day starts and I think I'm late.

But yes, it pisses me off. Mainly because my family loves to be late. They run on their own freaking time. 2 hours late is EARLY for my parents.

 

[justbugged]

So what is the definition of "chronically late"?

1) Is it the person who is there any where between 10 minutes early to 10 minutes late, or is it the person that shows up any where between 1/2 hour to 2 hours late?

2) Is it the person that is late every once in awhile, or the one that is always no mater what late no matter what is going on?

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
The definition of chronically late is me.

That, or early.
I think that the OP means is those people who are frequently a half hour late or more, and just don't give a darn, though I could be wrong.

 

[welsummerchicks]

The definition of 'chronically late' depends on the situation.

If you're 1 minute late to a job interview, you can kiss it goodbye.

If you're 10 or 15 minutes late to a very informal social gathering, that really, really should not be a big deal.

If you're late to a family function they can just go ahead without you. I really, honestly, don't see what the problem is in someone being late to stop by for an informal gathering.

I'm assuming people are objecting to a lateness that involves inconvenience and extra work for someone else.

For example, you're late to babysit your sister's kids, so they wind up not being able to use their theatre tickets that were eighty bucks a pop, and they don't get to see a show they wanted to see.

You're late to take someone to a doctor appointment, so they get charged a hundred dollars for the appointment they miss, and don't get the medical attention they need.

You are late home, so your wife can't leave on time to go to her job, as the kids need someone to watch them. As a result she gets written up for lateness and gets in trouble at work.

Frankly, I see no point in getting upset simply because someone doesn't show up on time for an informal gathering that doesn't put anyone out. If it's just a matter of a little more chili being left in the crock pot, no harm no foul.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I hear you welsummer I really do, but it does put me out. I try really hard not for it to, but I have young children. When they expect some one they favor it seems wrong to me to hold up children. Then they end up staying up past their bedtimes and getting rammy. It's mostly about how late and how inconvenient. And not informal gathering - but a family waiting just for you.....

10 to 15 minutes late no sweat, big family gathering and you're late also o sweat things go on without you.

We're expecting you and you are almost always anywhere from an hour to three hours late?? You're starting to truly torque me.......

I am not a people person. I end up slightly on edge when I am waiting for some one to come over.

 

[twentynine]

I am habitually on time, if I am late, one of a few things has happened, some one is dead, some one is severely ill (possibly me), my car is on fire, my house is on fire, or the sky is falling. In either case the one who is waiting on me will get a call post haste.

Chronically late people.

Yes! It is a big thing.

For instance: I enjoy fishing, I will invite some one to go with me. Because driving, traffic, trailering a large boat, along with tides, wind and weather can all determine the out come of the trip, I will specify a departure time. 0500, maybe 0530, or earlier or later. I get the boat ready, I fuel the truck and boat, I prepare all the tackle, I get the bait, I get the ice, I get the snacks, I get the drinks, in short I do all the things (work) that are required to be successfull and safe.

When the invitation is sent I tell the invitee, he has the option of spending the night prior to departure at my home, enjoy coffe and breakfast before leaving. Or if that is refused, I offer the service of a wake up call. Let me know how long it takes you to prepare and drive to my home, I give you a wake up. I am up atleast 90 minutes before departure, doing the afore mentioned chores. 99% of the time, I get "I'll be there with bells on" or some such comment. I can virtually bank on who is a show and who is a no (oops I guess I should say late) show.

Does that show any respect to me. I have a steady job and a family, both of which require time, so I am limited on when I can get away. If you can't get their on time, that's okay, either explain the difficulty, accept the invites of a bed or wake up call, or when invited to go fishing just say---- No Thanks!

One more thing I have got to add. Proportionally, the people who are late are usually the ones that persue and invitation relentlessly. You know the guys that ask repeatedly-- when are you going to take me fishing? Or comment --- I sure would like to go fishing with you, when can we go?

Coincidentally: A large proportion of the members of this group are also members of another group. The I gotta get home group.
This does not usually manifest itself until some conditions are met. 1. finally arrive several minutes late (I say minutes because now I wait no longer than 30 minutes for any one, in the days of cell phones, delay by traffic accident can be reported), and we are on a "bite" they clue me in that they have to be home at 1400hrs. This is after they were told we would return home for 1700. 2. We get home at specified time, I pull the ice chest full of fish (yes we sometimes catch 120qt ice chest full, 75- 150 specks, 5-10 reds, uncounted croaker, white trout, or sheephead), they realise suddenly that Momma is calling. Fish cleaning, boat swabbing, tackle storing (work) is once again left up to me.

I have even had members of these two groups call the following day to ask if I had the fish cleaned yet, and if it was okay to "drop" by and pick it up.

These disrespectfull people are never invited twice. And I have had to remind a couple of them why they don't get invited. My boat, my money, my time, show some respect.

 

[justbugged]

So I guess that most of the time I am on time, rather than late. I finally started to understand that there are two different things being discussed here. There are those of us that are trying our best, and often feel guilt when we are a minute or ten late for something. There are also the ones that are OCD enough that they are never late for anything; of course I have noted that most of these people rarely stay any longer than absolutely necessary. I figure that has to do with needing to be at the next place ahead of time. I do find it rather difficult to deal with people that seem to see the world in black and white. And I do know that I am one of those people that have the thought that rules are made to be broken. I do my best to obey the rules in life, but I know that Murphy's Law can apply at anytime.

I also try to never spend a lot of time where I am an irritant to others.

I must say that a number of years ago that I read somewhere that if you aren't early by 15 minutes, then you are late. My thought is then make the appointment for what time you really mean, and the person can keep me waiting for when they want to start things. If I am supposed to start work at 8 then if I am there 2 minutes before 8 and I am ready for work at 8, I then don't understand why could I considered late for work under those conditions.

I also know that in other cultures that the concept of time is different than what is custom for the USA. What I remember was a story that I was told is when you tell the people of a Pacific Island that a talk will start at 10 then they will arrive any time between 10 and 11. Because on this Island the people simply view time at a different pace than do most people of European decent.

I do have a lot of empathy though for the OP. It is thoughtless and rude of your sister to show up 1 to 3 hours later than she said she would. I would find that difficult to deal with after the first couple of times. I don't think that I would tell my children ahead of time, that their Aunt was coming anymore. That way they won't be disappointed in her being so late. I would also tell her when she shows up that late again that it is time for the kids to be in bed, and that she has missed getting to see them. I would think that after a few times of that, and she might start showing up closer to on time.

 

[sourland]

If you are going someplace with me I wait 15 minutes past planned departure time. If you're invited to dinner, I expect you within 30 minutes of proposed time. Not on time = not invited again. Plain and simple. Problems do arise. That's what cell phones are for. People will treat you as you allow them to. Yeah, I'm an "on time freak."

 

[welsummerchicks]

"I have What", I see what you mean about children. But I'd put that under the category of 'someone IS getting put out/having to do extra work'.

I think if a couple college kids are watching Harold and Kumar, and one kid comes over a half hour late, no big.

But....if someone doesn't show up on time, I think people assume they still need to CATER to the person as if they came on time! They need to sit there tapping their foot and waiting for Bill to arrive, or they need to not order til Mary breezes in.

I don't agree with this.

Go ahead and serve the food. Go ahead and order. Bill can get his own plate when he arrives. Mary can order separately and run the risk of not getting her food when everyone else does.

Say, if the kids have to go to bed at 8, and Sis always seems to arrive at 7:50, she can wait 10 min in her car til the kids are settled in bed, instead of keeping them up later by stirring this up arriving at 7:50. Or she can just as easily be met at the door and told, 'Sorry, the kids need to go to bed, if you come in they'll be riled up and won't sleep for at least an hour - we'll see you Sunday'.

Normally if I have to be late, I try to make sure it happens without any inconvenience to the host. I might just have dessert, or I might at a restaurant, just have something to drink. I don't think anyone should hold up their activities for the late one.

I did get very disgusted with one fellow once, I spent 4 hours making one of my super deluxe dinners and he called at dinner time and said, 'I met Bill and Joe and we're at El Mariachi drinking margueritas - wanna join us?'

I was really disgusted. I had worked very hard and rushed around to make time to cook. I never again invited that one any place, LOL!!!

That really is the other thing - if someone is a real pain, don't invite them again.