Cockatiels and Boyfriend who doesnt like them

[LoveAllTheBirds]

I have 2 male gray cockatiels, Sammy and Ginger, whom I absolutely adore. My boyfriend (we live separately but he wants me to marry him and move in) doesn't like them. Or he says he doesn't like how I am with them. Pretty much if I'm home I have them out. I walk them in a cage I attached to a backpack harness when I walk my dogs. He doesn't mind my 2 dogs, 1 cat, 6 chickens, 1 quail (anybody have a female gambel quail?), fish, or 1 horse. He says they are all more independent and the tiels require constant monitoring. I don't ask him to do anything with them, I try to keep them off him (of course they really like him and want to be on him). It is causing extreme trouble between us. I'm not willing to give up my birds. He hasn't asked me to but I don't see how he can live with them. Anybody have any advice? I've had the boys for 4 years.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

I would first sit down and give a good long viewing of your relationship as it stands without the bird issue. Ask yourself if the trouble over the birds is really the only trouble in the relationship. If yes, then on to the next step of compromise and listening to each other (a huge part of any relationship). If no, then you'll have some more thinking to do.

 

[redhen]

He sounds like a jerk. If he cant accept the things that you love, then hes not the guy for you.
The day that you have to give up things for a man, is the day that you start having BIG problems....

 

[PaigeHgibson]

I agree with Red hen , you need someone who loves you for you and the tiels are part of the package , My boyfriend of 4 years loves the 8 parrots , LOTS of pigeons , 2 cats , and Egyption Arabian I could never be with someone who did not love my animals they are a part of me and what i enjoy . there should not be a ultimatum .

i hope everything works out for you and the tiels

 

[bagendhens]

agre with the others...
sounds like he doesnt want to share ANY of your attention with the animals, and the other animals are "more indpendant" so dont take your attention when hes around...

personally id tell him its me AND the birds as is and he quits his complaining (because as you know with birds they NEED human interaction as much as possible) or he finds a new GF...
my ex was "anti pet" he put up witht he dogs becaus ehe knew he had no choice...but wouldnt budge on me having other pets, he not only didnt get it, but took attitude, it became a huge point of contention and eventually led to me seeing the other "issues" a little clearer...it led to our breakup because when i started seeing his attitude towards my animals (and towards my own personal attitude towards animals) i started to see the other little "quirks" i didnt like either.

 

[LoveAllTheBirds]

Thanks for the advice everyone! Its such a challenge knowing that I love him but I love my animals just as much. My pets are a part of who I am and he knew that from the begining. And he's so easy going about everything except my tiels. I guess we have some serious talking to do!

 

[WoodlandWoman]

It's always hard to know what a typical evening is for someone else's household.

I was wondering what you meant by them needing to be monitored all the time? They're out whenever you're home, right? Are they climbing on you all the time? Are they trained to stay on a playgym at all? Are your birds clipped or flighted?

Maybe you could have an hour at the end of the evening when they go to bed and you can have a bird free hour. If they aren't trained to stay on a playgym, maybe you could work on that, giving them a fresh little chew toy and some type of healthy snack to entice them. It's good if they know how to entertain themselves part of the time, even if you are there.

You shouldn't have to give up your birds or have them caged all the time. He should be able to sit in his own home without having multiple birds climbing on him if he doesn't like it and to have at least part of the evening when he has your attention focused on him, instead of the pets. I don't think it has to be all one way or the other. I think the two of you could work out a little give and take on the issue. Maybe try thinking about it and talking a little more.

Do the two of you spend most of your time at your place? Do you ever spend time over at his place with the dogs and the birds? If not, maybe try that and see how it goes.

 

[silkiechicken]

If you like them both (birds and male) you'll have to work it out.

My SO of 6? years so far deals with all my animals. My tiel LOVES him but it is not mutual... agreement is that if the tiel starts to climb on him, into the cage it goes. Just that the cage comes out into the room we are in and we all hang out together. Tiel poop was also an issue so I have the little guy semi trained to poop on command if he wants to come and walk around under the dinner table during dinner. The BF also never appreciated the early morning screaming in spring/summer so I put all the birds to bed at 10/11pm, and do not wake them up till 8am vs how they used to just get up with the sun. Everyone is on schedule now and there is peace.

Any time there was an animal disagreement, we just came to an agreement on them or where they could be or how to remedy the situation. Another example is that the birds free fly when we are back, but instead of the whole place, they only get one room to free fly.

All relationships should be give and take, I shouldn't always get my way, and my SO should not always get his. We come to agreements on things we dispute.

I've yet to change my license plate holder though... it says "All men are animals, but some make good pets".

 

[FireTigeris]

I don't -love- any parrots/tiels but the one my hubbie -needed- to get a couple months ago.

I'm not a big fan of any hookbill due to injury by them that was my fault once and with two other birds was not my fault.

Some ppl don't like some animals for whatever reason.

He's 'tolerant' of all of the other animals that are not his, so I never would have said no even though I'm afraid Pandora will become one of those terrible screaming biteing birds that I have met before.

Find out why he really doesn't like them if its truly what he told you be careful, hildren are MUCH more needy then any animal.

"So lets talk about the tiels, what is the real problem. You are so (compliment) and (compliment) it seems odd that you are jealous of two little birds... you are serious about us being together, conciser how much time a child will take... if they are doing something specific you don't like we can train them together to not do that anymore."

 

[guineahen14]

I would get rid of him before ANY of my birds. If you are happy living with your pets good for you. Don't let anyone control your life or make you guilty about spending time with your pets. I was in the same situtation with a man who "didn't like my cockatiels". Needless to say, I still have my birds and I love them. Find someone who will love you for who you are and love your pets because they make you happy.