last nov my step dad whom I am close too had a stroke. they tried the surgery it failed he lost his right side and speech. he is now in a nursing home. my mom goes to work everyday and then sits with him until he goes to bed. he has learned some sign language, and has a garden he takes care of. well for the last week he has been having pain in his abdomen. they did an x ray and found a mass. next week they will do a cat-scan. mom is very upset.
I have always been the unemotional one I didn't cry at grampa's funeral a couple of months ago. I was asked "what is wrong with you ! " yes I was sad but I know if I express my self it is much worse for mom. So I go off by my self and mourn. or it builds up and comes out at weird times. last week it was a furniture comercial with a happy family. we were listening to NPR at work and johnny cash's daughter was on. they played a song they sang together when he was dying, I lost it and had to go out to the car for a bit.
Also my weim Jake is nearing the end. he is a visitation dog he hasn't been able to visit the past two months. he started having seizures, they are only every two weeks so are under control. but he is losing control of his back end he falls down a lot. I have carpets all over the house because if he gets on the slick floor down he goes. If he does go down I have to drag him to a carpet to get him up. now in the past two weeks he is losing bowel control. this is killing me. everybody is used to seeing me with Jake. I'm asked about him everyday. I know his special friends are going to miss him very much.
this is jake and friends at christmas,
I have always been the unemotional one I didn't cry at grampa's funeral a couple of months ago. I was asked "what is wrong with you ! " yes I was sad but I know if I express my self it is much worse for mom. So I go off by my self and mourn. or it builds up and comes out at weird times. last week it was a furniture comercial with a happy family. we were listening to NPR at work and johnny cash's daughter was on. they played a song they sang together when he was dying, I lost it and had to go out to the car for a bit.
Also my weim Jake is nearing the end. he is a visitation dog he hasn't been able to visit the past two months. he started having seizures, they are only every two weeks so are under control. but he is losing control of his back end he falls down a lot. I have carpets all over the house because if he gets on the slick floor down he goes. If he does go down I have to drag him to a carpet to get him up. now in the past two weeks he is losing bowel control. this is killing me. everybody is used to seeing me with Jake. I'm asked about him everyday. I know his special friends are going to miss him very much.
this is jake and friends at christmas,
