Cremation or Burial?

[CaroleM]

I once surprised someone who jumped into my seat before I actually had time to remove my butt from it properly, I was only gong to put something back on the table. A friend asked the person, "Would you jump in her grave as quickly?" My comment, "Well she'd better be prepared to get very wet - I intend to be scattered at sea!" The person concerned looked rather concerned and swiftly vacated the seat - perhaps she couldn't swim

 

[tomtom69]

I also want to be cremated, and I really don't care what becomes of my ashes after that. I'm 43, divorced, and have no children so I doubt there will be anyone doing much thinking of me anyway.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

As for myself and my husband, we both wish to donate any usable parts and cremate the rest. What happens with the ashes...I couldn't care less. I will be dead, after all. As for the kids, well, the logical part of me thinks the same, of course. However, the mom in me sticks my fingers in my ears, makes loud noises, and refuses to even THINK that's something I could ever be faced with deciding!

I almost forgot to say why this is the choice we make. First, the donations. We feel it is beyond selfish to take body parts that could help a living person have a better life. The waiting list for organs is insane. As for cremation over burial, so much precious land space is forever lost to a bunch of rotting bodies. We are not willing to add to that overwhelming problem.

 

[Mattemma]

I just brought this issue up with dh again,because a classmate of my kids lost her 47yo mom(God bless her) over the weekend.Just never know.Told dh again to cremate me,and not bother with any type of funeral services or a temp box.Bag to oven.He could even transport the body,but I am sure that would be a bit to much for him to do that. I might though.

I asked that my body not be left alone due to body part thievery and other inappropriate behavior.I don't mind donating,but the idea of someone taking say my bones and putting pvc pipe in me,so they could make a blackmarket profit is unacceptable.

Plus to be there when I am put in the oven.Sometimes you don't get your loved ones ashes,but rather a mix of people and things.Finally no expensive pot(urn) for the ashes.Just bag me up and maybe mix me with some soil before you plant something nice.

 

[CaroleM]

My late Aunt; who was a Nursing Sister Tutor and a Missionary all her working life, having worked in India, Kenya and the Gold Coast (when it was the Gold Coast that is); managed to relieve my cousin and I of the funeral issue. She left her body to medical science and was donated to Sounthampton University Hospital. That was in May 2008.

When we were emptying her cottage, we held a Thanksgiving Service for her in the village hall which was more than well attended. I even made the reaquaintance of people I'd met in Kenya and who had travelled many miles to attend. It was wonderful to see just how much so many people had thought of her.

In September last year, we were told that the University was ready to hold a simple cremation and would we like to attend. My cousin and her husband drove to Southampton from Scotland and I went up from Plymouth. My husband was unable to attend. It was a dignified, short service and we were both glad we'd taken the time to go to say our final goodbyes. Later the ashes were couriered to Scotland to my cousin and she carried out our Aunt's final wishes. One amazing lady was finally scattered on the Slammanan hills, returning to her place of birth.

What saddened both my cousin, her husband and myself was a conversation we had with the Undertaker after the Service. He said how nice it was to actually have family members who attended the Service. Normally, it was the pall-bearers and himself, saying a prayer over the coffin and then the final Commitment. He wondered why family members didn't bother or want to attend. Neither my cousin nor I would have dreamed of not attending, of not paying our final respects and each of us saying our own personal farewell to a Lady we were proud to call our Aunt.

 

[EweSheep]

My hubby wants to be cremated and scatter his ashes upon the mountain up in Scotland, where he paid a visit up there about two decades ago. It was beautiful there.

I don't know how I can afford the airfare for all of us, let alone me......Isn't there an easier way to do this?

 

[reveriereptile]

This is an interesting thread.

I told my husband that I would want to be cremated when I die. If we have children then they can either take my ashes and spread me around, pass my urn between them, or bury the urn for a place to visit. They could also make a keepsake box with photos of my family and me in it to keep with the urn and have photos added to it of my grandchildren to be passed down.

We live in a small area which I wouldn't expect my children to want to stay around here so it would most likely be easier for them to pass me around if they feel like they want my remains near them. It would save them time and money having to travel to my grave site if they buried me and moved away.

If it was thousands of years ago then I wouldn't mind being buried or embalmed for the chance of being dug up later and studied like the mummies today. We have so much information today that if someone later wanted to know who I was they could easily find out.

 

[Rte.66_chicks]

I have long said that I would prefer to let my body go back to nature's cycles. Just toss my remains out where the coyotes, vultures, and flies can do just that. With that in mind, I will most likely donate mine to a body farm or choose decompiculture, which is pretty interesting and helps the process along with specific fungi for accelerated decomposition.

As far as bodies of elderly being to old to donate to science, my mother passed away of ovarian cancer at 86, and her body was donated. We later received a letter that detailed what it had been used for, which was mosly study of the spine and practice for spinal surgeries. What was left was cremated and the ashes returned to us.

 

[chloezoebob101]

Its just a piece of dead flesh. My Soul and spirit won't be there anymore. So just toss me in a river or something.

 

[CaroleM]

Ewesheep, do you know someone in Scotland or perhaps England/Wales/N Ireland (maybe the latter could cause travel problems, ferries/flights etc)? Would that person be willing to carry out your husband's wishes for you? Maybe then you could be given a video/dvd of that last act as a Memorial. For us it made sense that my cousin who lives in Glasgow did the 'honours'. When I manage to get to see her again we shall go to where the ashes were scattered. I hope that you can find a way for your hussband's wishes to be carried out, although we all hope that will not be for many years to come.

Just thought, if the mountain you mean is Ben Nevis, then you might be able to contact a Member of the Clergy from a suitable Church and ask if he/she could carry out the ceremony for you, if you post the urn to them. You would need to look up the Churches for Fort William. Again, I am sure that they hope it will be many years before such services would be required.