Dad Jokes😂

[Jester57]

I knew a group that was convinced that the source of all earthly power and glory lay in the worship of evil shiny cloth.

Spoiler

They were satinists.

 

[Jester57]

I need to quit drinking while I’m stumbling up the slope from the bar to my house…

Spoiler

but so far it’s been an uphill bottle.

 

[Jester57]

I once made a suit out of mushrooms, but it fell apart almost immediately.

I guess I lacked a strong morel fiber.

 

[Jester57]

The police handed him a nice, steaming cup of hot cocoa while they were taking his picture.

Spoiler

It was a mug shot.

 

[Jester57]

I tried dating a defensive lineman.

He was always rushing things.

 

[Jester57]

When I was an elevator repairman, I dated one of my coworkers.

We broke up, and then they fired us.

 

[Jester57]

My old dentist had his good days and his bad days.

Spoiler

It was a real molar coaster.

 

[Jester57]

I’ve just invented an electronic device that fits on a dog’s neck to prevent aggression. Instead of attacking people and other dogs, they turn tail and run away.

I call it a flee collar.

 

[Jester57]

Why do the pats of butter feel like their lives are so topsy-turvy?

Spoiler

First they’re on a roll, then they’re in a jam.

 

[Hayden Goseek]