Dear Ralphie's Relationship advice............

[duluthralphie]

I have decided to help all of you with an advice column type thread....

I know you all have had those little problems that arise now and then in a relationship...

You know what I mean... You just bought or hatched 5 dozen birds when your spouse wants you to have 2 only...

or How do you sneak that new power tool past your wife......

Or How do you get the chicks out of the bedroom without your hubby seeing them...

These are the type of problems I am willing to offer advice on...

As always I must warn you, divorce or criminal charges are possible if you do not handle these situations in just the right way........ I can assume no liability for advice that fails as obviously it means you did not carry it out properly,,,,

as we all know I never make mistakes...

Please tell me what you need help with...I will do my best or others here can chime in with their help for you...

 

[BantyChooks]

Dear Ralphie,
How can I persuade a man that a new, expensive power tool is not nearly as fun as a new coop? Suggestions that don't involve cast iron frying pans would be appreciated.

 

[duluthralphie]

Dear Ralphie,
How can I persuade a man that a new, expensive power tool is not nearly as fun as a new coop? Suggestions that don't involve cast iron frying pans would be appreciated.

Very simply put... You can't!!

What is wrong with you anyways? Everyone knows a new power tool is the best thing in the whole world!! Geesh,....ask serious questions please...


BTW did you try buying a raffle ticket for a new coop?

 

[BantyChooks]

Very simply put... You can't!!

What is wrong with you anyways? Everyone knows a new power tool is the best thing in the whole world!! Geesh,....ask serious questions please...


BTW did you try buying a raffle ticket for a new coop?

Frying pan it is. Nobody needs a new power tool when HALF THE BASEMENT is already occupied by them... and almost none of the basement is filled with chickens.

 

[duluthralphie]

Frying pan it is. Nobody needs a new power tool when HALF THE BASEMENT is already occupied by them... and almost none of the basement is filled with chickens.

Now that is a properly stated problem,,,,

A basement should have at least 50% by volume chickens...

I suggest move a few chicken in..When you are asked where they come from, a good strong shrug of the shoulders is the proper response...

Say nothing as words can be used against you in a court of law.

 

[BantyChooks]

Now that is a properly stated problem,,,,

A basement should have at least 50% by volume chickens...

I suggest move a few chicken in..When you are asked where they come from, a good strong shrug of the shoulders is the proper response...

Say nothing as words can be used against you in a court of law.

See, there we go. What do I do when the smell is supposedly "So bad it's scenting the upstairs", his quote, not mine?

 

[duluthralphie]

See, there we go. What do I do when the smell is supposedly "So bad it's scenting the upstairs", his quote, not mine?

Again,,, keep it simple,,

What smell? or I dunno... or shrug the shoulders

if he presses further blame him for bring some "smelly old oily tool into your house".

 

[BantyChooks]

Again,,, keep it simple,,

What smell?

if he presses further blame him for bring some "smelly old oily tool into your house".

Thanks, Ralphie! You've turned my life around.

 

[duluthralphie]

Thanks, Ralphie! You've turned my life around.

well, naturally,,
How do you think I have managed to have such a rich and fulfilling relationship with my spouse for nearly a half a century??

 

[Tortoise]

See, there we go. What do I do when the smell is supposedly "So bad it's scenting the upstairs", his quote, not mine?

You blame the dog, just like the husbands do.