Dear Ralphie's Relationship advice............

[shawluvsbirds]

Dear Ralphie,
Is it in bad taste to call my husband by the same "pet name" I have used for my significant others in the past?
I've tried coming up with new ones but there are those moments where the words just come out and I can't help myself.

 

[duluthralphie]

Dear Ralphie,
Is it in bad taste to call my husband by the same "pet name" I have used for my significant others in the past?
I've tried coming up with new ones but there are those moments where the words just come out and I can't help myself.

Actually it is extremely smart to do. You can never blurt out the wrong name in error and save yourself an embarrassing moment.

I, actually, dated women named “Gertrude”... just to prevent such a mistake.. it took a little work to only find Gertrude’s but it was worth it..

I married Gertrude years ago.. she’s not much to look at, a poor companion and dumber than a box of rocks.

But it is worth it to save myself any embarrassment.

 

[duluthralphie]

I going to help all of you today with free general advice.

Do not cull young roosters from your flock unless you cull the same number of girls.

The AAP2 * organization which I fully support believe singling out one sex to live while killing the other sex is blatantly sexist.

Avoid being named in the AAP2’s upcoming lawsuit or being charged with a hate crime. Simply kill as many girls as you do boys.

Also when preparing Sunday dinners please alternate between eating girls and boys. Do not eat the roosters on Sundays and relegate the pullets to soup on Thursdays.

Please take this advice seriously.








* Animals Are People Too—— AAP2

 

[N F C]

I going to help all of you today with free general advice.

Do not cull young roosters from your flock unless you cull the same number of girls.

The AAP2 * organization which I fully support believe singling out one sex to live while killing the other sex is blatantly sexist.

Avoid being named in the AAP2’s upcoming lawsuit or being charged with a hate crime. Simply kill as many girls as you do boys.

Also when preparing Sunday dinners please alternate between eating girls and boys. Do not eat the roosters on Sundays and relegate the pullets to soup on Thursdays.

Please take this advice seriously.



* Animals Are People Too—— AAP2

Just wondering...is labeling the birds "male" and "female" sexist too?

 

[duluthralphie]

Just wondering...is labeling the birds "male" and "female" sexist too?

I believe it could be.

Therefore I apologize for using those terms. I am trying to rectify this by having a bill introduced in Congress to have any living creature possessing ovaries as “special needs”.

Then we can refer to the boys as “normal” and the girls as “SN”s..

 

[N F C]

I believe it could be.

Therefore I apologize for using those terms. I am trying to rectify this by having a bill introduced in Congress to have any living creature possessing ovaries as “special needs”.

Then we can refer to the boys as “normal” and the girls as “SN”s..

I don't know Ralphie...that seems backwards to me. The guys are missing a body part so doesn't that make them 'special'?

 

[duluthralphie]

I don't know Ralphie...that seems backwards to me. The guys are missing a body part so doesn't that make them 'special'?

Now your thinking in terms of “specyism”. That is not the case with all species....

Therefore, as normal, I declare I am correct again.

 

[N F C]

Now your thinking in terms of “specyism”. That is not the case with all species....

Therefore, as normal, I declare I am correct again.

Of course, how could I have ever doubted you

 

[guineapeeps]

So, I just gotta revive this thread since it’s so funny...and I could use the advice too!

Dear Ralphie,
I have an 18 year old son who will graduate this spring. He doesn’t have any big plans for his future, although he does know he can’t just continue to live at home and do nothing. (He would like to live in our basement and play video games for life, but luckily we don’t have a basement!) In your infinite wisdom, do you have any motivational words you could share to get his useless carcass moving?

 

[Miss Lydia]