Dear Tech Support - FUNNY

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by stitch-a-bility, Apr 8, 2009.

  1. stitch-a-bility

    stitch-a-bility Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Dec 15, 2008
    Corning, AR
    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going to the Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

    Please help!
    Thanks,
    Troubled User.....

    _____________________


    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men often complain about.
    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\\APOLOGIZE! Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1.

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

    Best of luck,
     
  2. horsejody

    horsejody Squeaky Wheel

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    Feb 11, 2008
    Waterloo, Nebraska
    Dear Technical Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. The new program also began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed,

    Desperate

    ——————————————————–

    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

    Please enter the command: ”C:\\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

    If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

    Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

    Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

    You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck,
    Tech Support
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2009
  3. I have read these before but just LOVE them! So funny and right on!
    [​IMG]
     
  4. toletiquesbysam

    toletiquesbysam Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 19, 2008
    Nebraska
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] Funny!!!
     
  5. EngieKisses

    EngieKisses Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jul 10, 2008
    Collinsville, Oklahoma
    I love it! [​IMG]
     
  6. Superman11383

    Superman11383 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 25, 2009
    Bunnell, Florida
    you get a [​IMG] WAAAY UP
     

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