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Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by pdsavage, May 3, 2008.
I know how you feel. I am also building a 12x12 coup. I asked my husband to goto Home Depot and get the supplies. I had a list of everything I needed. I did all the figuring myself. The ground is unlevel where we are putting the coup. I told him I was going to level the ground myself. He said,"wouldn't it be easier if we got some pillar blocks?" Yes probably, but I wanted the ground level because the coup will have a dirt floor. Well needless to say when he came back from Home Depot he had purchased the pillar blocks....
next time he touches your project ...go paint his shop walls pink with purty flowers ...oh yeah...maybe some glitter to liven it up a bit...
I guess I don't get it....I'd love for my husband to have the time or inclination to help me. If you're going to have a better end product what are you gripping about?
Quote:The glitter would be an especially creative touch! My hubby likes to take over jobs, too. I generally don't care who does the work... I just want it done. If he takes over a job that I was doing, it just frees me up to do something else.
When there is something that I know that dh can't resist "helping" with... I just design it so that he can do the stuff that I don't like. I like to tear things out, paint and caulk. I let dh do the stuff that I don't like...drywall...plumbing...electrical...spreading bagged manure on my flower bed, etc. It keeps the peace in the house!
I know what you mean. My DH used to nit-pick my lawn mowing as well..... something about how the lines needed to be all back and forth and to not mow around things in circles and wavely lines Whatever... if it's all one height... who cares But, I do try to keep it like he likes it..... not a big deal and only minimal effort on my part makes for a happier DH.
I too am trying to keep my DH away from the coop! I'm trying to build it to MY specifications and being that I am the one who has done all of the researching, etc... I should be able to design the coop. If he gets his hands on the project it will end up being the world's smallest coop! Really hoping to build it when he's at work! HA! Once it's there, it's there
I so glad to find someone who understands! My dh is a very talented builder. In fact for much of his life he was a cabinet builder by trade. Well, I'm not very talented and can hardly hammer a nail in straight, but how am I ever going to gain skill if I don't try??? He is not a very patient teacher and everytime I start a project, like the duck pen, he just takes over. Yes, he does it a bajillion times quicker and everything is neater, but what did I learn?? He works alot and isn't home to do all of the projects I have going. I need to be able to do it on my own, not to mention its very satisfying to finish things for myself.
Its really frustrating..
Quote:That's not the point, it's a matter of respect and listening to her request to let this be here project only....it's maddening when someone wont hear you or just refuses to listen.
i know he does it better but that wasnt the point,he doesnt value any thing i do.
its never good enough for him it seams.
i never asked to fix it in fact i told him not to.
how many men have i heard complian that they dont do house work cause the wives co behind them and do it there way or tell them how to do the house work.
sides he has better stuff to wotk on than my coop,like fixing the electric in the kitchen witch was to be done 5 years ago(as of now im using extention cords).he wont let me help with any of the house fixing up stuff says i dont do it right (his way).
he even tells me how to garden so i even stopped doing that after he kept mowing over my plants,guess he didnt like where i put em.
hubby should go fix all the leaks in his work shop so he can use it and stay the heck away from my one project.
Its not just this one thing its everything he keeps taking over cause he thinks im not doing it right(his way).
For 5 years there was nothing done with the space i took over i waited for him to do something with the barn when he didnt i figured now was the time for that wasted space to be used the old door had fallen off years ago so i made one.so now after years of a door broken and laying there after i work on it now he decieded it needed to be done?????
sorry ill stop ranting but no one likes to feel inferior and that everything they do is wrong...
My mom lived in her house for years before she married her new DH..and the D is not for dear..... she has gardened all her life. He doesn't like what she has done, so he constantly cuts down, kills and digs up her plants. He completely demolished her Wiegalia that the hummingbirds loved, even after being told to leave it alone! but he thinks he knows better..... I hope she kicks him to the curb soon.... but not just because of that. That would be rash, it's because he abuses her and is a doped up alcoholic!!! If you knew my mom you'd wonder how she came to be here. She doesn't use drugs, smoke and only rarely drinks. She was a librarian for years and loves animals, gardens and art. But, it is amazing what the fear of being alone mixed with low self-esteem can do to a person.
My DH and I do butt heads on projects.... but we usually find some kind of compromise. Sometimes it just comes down to who makes the better case. I think couples need to talk about the things that bother them.... sometimes it really doesn't occur to the other how bad it makes them feel. Sometimes it's blatent... like in the case if my mother... but if that's the case, there's probably more to it than just that.
Best of luck to you with your DH. Maybe he just thinks he's doing you a favor and argues about it being "right" because he thinks you're just being stubborn. Maybe you get him to realize what you've explained to us. Maybe he can even find the time to help you learn all those little tips and tricks that he knows. Communication is paramount! Good luck!!!