Did you get made fun of/false rumors in High School ?

[Ol'FashionHen]

My ds is almost 17 and recently broke up with his girlfriend. They are still friends, some other girls after they found out he was single were asking him why he would not ask them to go out with him. Ds told them he did not want a girlfriend right now, so now he has girls coming up to him all the time and saying I heard you and so and so did this, and that (not nice stuff) blah blah. You know "the stupid reasons why people hated high school". Now my Ds wants to move in with my mom because he says it is really depressing him because some girls that he used to talk to will not speak to him because of the rumors. He wants to go to a different school, only stay with my mother during the week, and with us the rest of the time when school is not in, there are more jobs in my moms area for teens too. I really want him to stay with me, but I do not want him to be miserable either. I explained to him that this would pass, sometimes life is tough, you have to take the good with the bad, but he seems to think that the grass is greener on the other side and prefers not to tough it out anymore. He also knows that the schools in my moms district do not require as much academics as the school he goes to, and also his loud mouth buddy told him that school there is so easy. I checked online and his current school received a 4 out of five in academics and the school he would attend while at my moms received a 2 ... A..2

. I don't want him to think he has a depression problem, because I believe he does not, he is in the "I'm a teenager and I am trying to figure out a few things stage". But how in the world do you convince your teenagers that they are normal and this too shall pass, cause teenagers bless their hearts, think that everything is just the end of the world? My DH approch is to tell him to suck it up and get over it, but I don't want my DS to be miserable and think that we just don't care about his feelings.

OPINIONS -EXPERIENCES PLEASE!!!

 

[HarlansHollowFarms]

Ol'FashionHen :

My ds is almost 17 and recently broke up with his girlfriend. They are still friends, some other girls after they found out he was single were asking him why he would not ask them to go out with them. Ds told them he did not want a girlfriend right now, so now he has girls coming up to him all the time and saying I heard you and so and so did this, and that (not nice stuff) blah blah. You know "the stupid reasons why people hated high school". Now my Ds wants to move in with my mom because he says it is really depressing him because some girls that he used to talk to will not speak to him because of the rumors. He wants to go to a different school, only stay with my mother during the week, and with us the rest of the time when school is not in, there are more jobs in my moms area for teens too. I really want him to stay with me, but I do not want him to be miserable either. I explained to him that this would pass, sometimes life is tough, you have to take the good with the bad, but he seems to think that the grass is greener on the other side and prefers not to tough it out anymore. He also knows that the schools in my moms district do not require as much academics as the school he goes to, and also his loud mouth buddy told him that school there is so easy. I checked online and his current school received a 4 out of five in academics and the school he would attend while at my moms received a 2 ... A..2

. I don't want him to think he has a depression problem, because I believe he does not, he is in the "I'm a teenager and I am trying to figure out a few things stage". But how in the world do you convince your teenagers that they are normal and this too shall pass, cause teenagers bless their hearts, think that everything is just the end of the world? My DH approch is to tell him to suck it up and get over it, but I don't want my DS to be miserable and think that we just don't care about his feelings.

OPINIONS -EXPERIENCES PLEASE!!!

Unfortunately we can not take away our childrens feelings. We can listen and be supportive, but in the end it is up to them to get out of their own funk. I am on the side of your DH, you can not alow a teen to tell you what he is going to do. If you do not want him to attend another school, that is your descision as a parent. Just because he is miserable at the moment does not mean it will last forever. Be supportive, yet stern in your descision, tel hem him yours reasons and let him know you care.
Other than that, there is not much you can do but to allow time to do its majic......such as everthing in life.....this to shall pass.

Good Luck​

 

[Andi]

I'm sorry he's going through tough times. Personally, I think you should make him stick it out. Don't encourage the idea that running from sticky situations is okay. He's going to need those skills for when he gets in the real world on his own. The better school is exactly where he needs to stay. It will be a better preparation for life. If he chooses to continue his education he'll be better off coming from a well disciplined school. In a years time this whole thing will be ancient history, unless you allow him to take the easy way out, which will not be easy in the long run. If he switches schools he'll be having to deal with a whole new set of stressers. At least where he's at he has his place and knows what to expect so he can focus more on the important things.

I understand that he won't be able to comprehend this, but in 2 years time he won't hardly ever see any of those people for it to be an issue anyway.

Sometimes trying to be nice and let him do what he wants isn't the best thing for him in the long run. He may not like it, or understand it, but once mistakes are made there's no undoing them. Especially once they become adults and are on their own.

For all of you, hang tough. It will get better. Show him to look on the bright side of these situations. It sounds like he's learning that some of these gals are only concerned about themselves. The gals that are real friends will give him the benefit of the doubt and trust his decisions. Not an easy lesson. He'll have to learn it now or later. I say better now while he has your support.

Your DH is right, although it sounds a bit harsh to us girls. I'm sure there's an easier way to get that medicine down. Dilute it in some thoughtful, open, caring about his future discussion.

The male human brain isn't developed enough at his age to make rational reasoning decisions very well. That portion of his brain isn't developed until he's around 24, if I'm remembering correctly. Here's an interesting article about teens brain development that all of you might find enlightening.

http://www.instituteforsafefamilies.org/pdf/theamazingbrain/The_Amazing_Adolescent_Brain.pdf

 

[CrazyFowlFreak]

Poor dude.

Kids stink! I wouldn't let him go, though, because at some point he will have to deal with unpleasant and ugly things like this as an adult. If he runs away from it now, he won't have the skills to handle hard times as an adult.

I was teased mercilessly in junior high because the group of girls I ran with started drinking and doing drugs, and having sex with boys. I wasn't into that stuff, so when I stopped hanging with them, they made up all sorts of horrid rumors about me. I had my tonsils out at that time and missed over a week of school and when I came back, the rumor was that I had had an abortion, my name was written all over the bathroom walls, etc. It was horrible and so hard to deal with, but I did it and I felt better for it.

 

[Boyd]

I had two things I always had to deal with in high school, and it wasn't aways fun for me

First things first, I grew up in a small town and we lived on a farm which there were only 3 families at the time who did in this area.. clothes were ritzy, kids were polished and spit shined.. I wore second hand hand me downs because feeding my horses and various animals were always more important to me than having the latest fashion.. plus I sorta talked funny compared to the northern kids..

Needless to say after years of this every new guy who came into the district always came my way. I had a reputation of being a fighter/scrapper and they were always looking to make their mark... lordy, didn't their mamma ever teach them not to pick a fight with a cowboy?

The other thing... I absolutely DID not date any girl from my school EVER. I was very good friends with a lot of them, and many of the guys after I was eventually accepted by this small community. So the second rumor that went around is that I was gay. I wasn't in fact, but after a while i didn't care what they thought. They met the lovely miss sue at homecoming and then at prom and I finally gave in and laughed at all the rumormongers. I told them exactly why I never dated from our school, and to this day that's what folks seem to remember about me. The guy who wore cowboy boots taking the pretty brunette with the mega curls to the dance. Oh yeah, and not many folks in Michigan knew how to line dance so it was a great time

This will pass, your DS will get over this, hopefully he can read this and find the humor that took me years to find.

 

[Ol'FashionHen]

Quote:
Thanks Boyd . I printed your story so I could show him. He is such a cool kid and he gets along with everyone. So ... when he would not go out with any of the girls that wanted him too, they were mad and decided to be mean and spread rumors. He is having a hard time dealing with this, because he has always had many girls to like him, and he has more girl-friends, than guy friends, so BIG difference for him. My Ds is a 6'1 muscular, strong boy, no guys mess with him (he has put on a few beat-downs). He told me mom it would be easier if it were a guy running his mouth cause I would put a beat down on him, but girls....what do you do about nasty mouthed girls.
It has really hurt his feelings and he is not used to this KIND of a conflict. He is a good boy, sweet, very easy to talk to (especially for girls), I am so heartboken for him and I just want to cuddle him up and tell him all will be ok, and I will whip all those nasty mouthed girls and their momma for raisin girls with no class! LOL, But I know he is almost 17 and needs to deals with things, he is a levelheaded boy (the teachers see it too, and have accused me of overadulting him

) so him just wanting to leave is very out of his character. I figured I would let him try out a new school and staying at my mothers because deep down I feel like it would be a good learning experience for him, I am hoping that he will see that the school there is lacking in the smart department and want to run away from there, he is a smart kid and can filter out the idiots in the crowd. I don't know, I am just really confused at the momment, thanks for the opinions, I really do enjoy hearing everyones outlook on this situation. Maybe I should rent a bunch of high school movies like john tucker must die, and can't by me love to inspire him some. Teenagism is tough, and sometimes can be cruel. Keep the opinions coming please and stories.....

 

[Boyd]

he also needs to see mean girls. thats how teenage girs realy are

 

[Andi]

Not just teenage girls can be mean. Adult women can be cut throat! That's coming from a woman!

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
trust me I know. After being the only guy in my college classes, they soon forgot my plumbing differed and let me tell ya folks, gals are meaner and more vulgar than a comparable room full of men. I've been in both!!!!

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Quote:
trust me I know. After being the only guy in my college classes, they soon forgot my plumbing differed and let me tell ya folks, gals are meaner and more vulgar than a comparable room full of men. I've been in both!!!!

LOL! That's why most of my friends are guys!