divorce

[asmfshr]

General concensus Please,My sister is staying at my other sisters ex husbands house with her own husband and daughter once or twice a year.[no hanky panky] just friends. well sister no. 1 is livid. your thoughts Please Yes or No?

 

[sfw2]

I don't think it's a simple yes/no. I understand Sister #1 being upset - she feels like Sister #2 and her husband have chosen their friendship with the ex-husband over their familial ties to her. Not saying that's reasonable - just that I understand it. I also understand that Sister #2 and her husband may have formed a good friendship with the ex-husband over the years, and good friends are hard to come by. If I were Sister #2, I might continue to visit the ex-husband (with my husband), but I wouldn't be surprised that Sister #1 is bent out of shape over it. I also wouldn't make a point of throwing it in her face every time we visited.

And, most importantly, if I were YOU, I'd try to avoid getting sucked into this mess!

 

[redhen]

Depends WHY they got divorced...did he beat her? Cheat?
Or did they just fall out of love?..

 

[asmfshr]

Thx for the advice. Just wanted to get a general idea how people felt.Nobody died ,only normal crappy divorce. Pce all

 

[redhen]

Your sister has the right to feel upset... but your other sister also has the right to choose her friends...
So its a tough situation...

 

[mom'sfolly]

Sometimes divorce is hard on the extended family too. They opened up their hearts to the in-law when their family member married. If they are decent human beings, they also strive to make a separate relationship with their in-law, and become friends. Sometimes this friendship survives the marriage. The in-laws are not living with the person being divorced, they don't experience the frustrations that drive someone to divorce, the grief and anger that the divorce causes, and the day to day stress of dealing with someone you used to love and live with.

Sister number 2 may feel for sister #1, but she may be able to see the ex-BIL good qualities easier than his ex-wife can. BIL was at least a nice enough guy to get sister #1 to marry him, and it is probably easier for sister #2 to see those qualities still.

 

[EweSheep]

Sometimes divorce is hard on the extended family too. They opened up their hearts to the in-law when their family member married. If they are decent human beings, they also strive to make a separate relationship with their in-law, and become friends. Sometimes this friendship survives the marriage. The in-laws are not living with the person being divorced, they don't experience the frustrations that drive someone to divorce, the grief and anger that the divorce causes, and the day to day stress of dealing with someone you used to love and live with.

I'm going thru it right now, a separation and my father in law and sister in law opened up their hearts to me before I got married and they were so happy I married their son/brother. What's good out of this, is my FIL and SIL supported us and would stand behind us, and I am hoping my hubby will remain friends with me if and when we do divorce. Yes, it is very painful right now but it will get better eventually either way we are going to reconcile or go separate ways.