Do Christmas lists bug you?

[patandchickens]

In general, I love lists.

For gift-giving, though, I'm with derby -- I *loathe* the whole concept. It's like a list of demands to be filled.

I am firmly of the (not popular these days!) persuasion that if you care enough about a person to give them a gift, you care and know enough about them to make a good stab at something that they will like, be it useful, entertaining, beautiful, whatever. (There are indeed a few people on the planet who are not interested in anything they themselves did not think up, and I'm willing to make at least a theoretical exception for that)

To me, the gift is at least as much in the thought that went behind choosing it as in the object itself.

And I really, really hate seeing kids indoctrinated in this "letter to santa listing presents I want" stuff. Good for stores that sell stuff; not good for character, if you ask me.

Mind there are some people I have a heck of a time getting presents for, my father especially (he is openly critical of most things you give him, and the rest he just ignores and apparently forgets three minutes later that it's ever happened) but you know what, that's life

For myself, you know what, if I really wanted it that bad I would go out and buy the darn thing myself. Saying 'oh, I would like an X for christmas' and then finding the X duly delivered on christmas morning is SOOOOOO not a present, to me. It's me getting it myself, via (what I'd consider the rudeness of) money from someone else's pocket

(e.t.a. - when my family asks what to get the kids for christmas or birthdays, I say 'clothes' because they're always useful

, and 'I have no idea, just nothing with a jillion tiny pieces' when they press me beyond that. I think it is probably ok that kids get a certain quota of 'stupid' presents, to discover that the transaction aspect of it is not always as great as it's cracked up to be <g>)

In TOTAL solidarity with ya, derby

,

Pat

 

[ams3651]

what I hate is people who ask me for the list then dont use it. People my kids dont see often or live out of town. Its a chance to get them something they would like but I dont have to buy it only to discover later on.....they didnt use the list.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Don't see it as a list of demands. See it as an opportunity to guide people on appropriate gifts for your kids. As a single woman with no kids, I LOVE it when my friends give me tips. It keeps me from getting stuff that the kids either hate or that annoy the parents to death.
With my adult family, I seldom know what to get my Dad and BIL. I always ask for a list from them. Otherwise I'd get something that was really cool in Girl World and the dumbest gift ever in Man Land.

Lists are really, really helpful!

 

[Wildsky]

I don't like em either. I also see them as a list of "demands" or something like that - perhaps demands isn't the right word.

If I don' t know someone well enough - well then why am I buying a gift for them?
If folks don't know me or my family well enough to know what we like and what we don't - then don't buy any of us a gift, we won't DIE with out something.

I have a friend that will just ask me things like what size the kids wear and things like that. Then she'll buy pretty little shirts or something cute - I don't need to send her a list of what we would PREFER. I think that would be kinda "cheap" or ?

 

[debilorrah]

I love lists from people like my SIL who I have NO DIEA what she likes even though she has been a part of the family for 13 years. No one ever knows what to get her because she doesn't like anything.

 

[patandchickens]

Quote:
Well, that's why I say "nothing with a jillion little pieces". For our sake, not the kids' <g>

I don't honestly see that it's so terrible for kids to get things that, er, are far from what they would've requested. For one thing it makes the whole gift-getting thing less, I dunno, what would you call it, mercenary than list-making tends to produce (especially if it is the KIDS producing the lists! parent-produced lists are a little different)

Also, really isn't the point supposed to be that Grandma (or whomever) picked this out specially for you, to show how much she loves you, because she thought it might make you happy. Sure a dozen pair of socks may call into question Grandma's understanding of the four-year-old psyche

but at the same time, it's still a well-meant gift and I think it oughta be appreciated as such.

Anyhow I don't think it's THAT hard to get gifts for kids that are at least ballpark appropriate. There's always something that a particular child especially likes -- horses, cars, spaceships, whatever -- and there is a limit to how far something featuring that interest is gonna go astray. Plus, there are some things that most kids will get some use out of -- age-appropriate board games, books, art materials (maybe more frivolous than they usually get, like fancy sparkly paper to cut up). Or these days, sigh, DVDs.

I guess it kind of comes down to whether you see "gift-ness" as being embodied by the effort taken to get something the recipient will like, or the "gift-ness" as being embodied by whether it actually IS something they'll like.

I think there is totally legitimate room for different viewpoints on that

All I'm saying is, I'm in the first group, not so much the second.

Interesting thread

Pat

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Oh, I don't ask the kids. I only ask the parents.

I have a long track record of getting awesome kid gifts that make their parents crazy. I love noisy, messy toys and I always send extra batteries.

For the sake of my familial relationships and friendships I now ask the parents.

edited because clearly I've never gotten a dictionary as a gift...

 

[Chick_a_dee]

My brother and I only get about 1 present each, sometimes 2 if we're lucky, and usually they're from my grandmother, who sends money to my parents to buy presents for us, which has to include birthdays and christmas. Since my brother and I are older, and know that Christmas is pretty much just a sham, my dad lets us pick, and often takes us out to get the present. We're just like that, Christmas isn't a huge time of the year for us, I mean we still have to feed the dogs, and work on the house, or the farm, and we still have to make sure the animals are settled.

I like lists though

When we were little, my parents assigned gifts to each of the relatives who wanted to get us something, if we had a list of things, they'd give the responsibility of one gift to one person, etc etc. Usually it was the smaller more important gifts of things we can use later on, and at least they made sure duplicates were not purchased.

 

[debilorrah]

I love asking my 19 year old for a list. He puts things like an airplace and a penguin and a monkey and a corvette, etc. It cracks me up to see what he comes up with! And ya know, he got the matchbox corvette that year.

 

[djackjr]

14 years of marriage and the wife still gives no list. and when I ask what she wants or needs it's I don't know!!! So I guess, and being a guy its usually a bad guess