Do you ever feel like calling it quits on chicken-keeping?

[tamtam84]

Has anyone ever felt like calling it quits on keeping chickens? For me, it has become too painful lately. I got so attached to my original flock of 8 pullets and was devastated when I lost my first one at only 7 months old. Last summer I lost my sweetest lap chicken after trying unsuccessfully to nurse her back to health. Again, I was devastated.

On the morning of March 16, 2012, I lost another one. She showed no signs of illness and died only a couple of days after I noticed something was off. I had to watch her fight for every breath until it became too much for her body to handle. Later that same day I had 8 new baby chicks arrive in the mail after being lost for a couple of days to find that 3 of them were DOA. We tried everything we could to bring the others back, but within 24 hours each of the 5 remaining baby chicks passed away, one right after the other.

Right now another one of my original hens is on the verge of passing. She is laying internally (here's my thread on her issues -- https://www.backyardchickens.com/t/638821/ascites-swollen-squishy-abdomen-with-pics/30#post_8943089) and I don't think there's much time left.

Honestly I just feel so emotionally depleted and think that I should just quit altogether. It hurts too much to have so much loss. Lately I have noticed how distant I've been towards my animals because I am so afraid of losing them. This is not like me at all but I feel like it's a subconscious defense mechanism.

Has anyone else struggled with giving up on keeping chickens? They have brought me immeasurable joy over the past 2 1/2 years, but also immeasurable sorrow. I don't want to become hard, but I feel like that is what's happening.

 

[speckledhen]

Speaking as someone who has lost 10-11 from internal laying, one from a heart defect, two from a sudden heart attack, one from a mystery accident, etc, etc, I can honestly say I still wouldn't give them up. Yes, it's hard sometimes, and losing my beloved BR rooster, Zane, was crushing-he was really the love of my life, at least in the pet sense. In my mind, it's truly "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". I try to imagine my days free of chickens and I really can't, but I do understand the emotional turmoil when you lose a special one.

 

[artsy1]

It is so hard to go through the death of your pets, but isn't it worth keeping them for the love?

I lost my dog Rocco last 4th. of July and can't even think about getting another dog. So I know how you feel. I do own 15 chickens and I purposely don't get too close to them, because I can't take the sorrow in the case of a lost. So you really have to decide if it's worth it to you.

" only you can decide this." My heart is with you and I wish you the best whatever you decide.!

 

[tamtam84]

Normally I do agree with "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I guess lately I'm just feeling all the loss and it's weighing me down. I would never give up my chickens, but honestly sometimes I feel like it's too hard. I just get too emotionally attached.

But like you said, I can't imagine my days free of chickens. Obviously you have dealt with a lot of loss and the fact that you still would never give up on your chickens does give me encouragement!

 

[tamtam84]

It is so hard to go through the death of your pets, but isn't it worth keeping them for the love?

I lost my dog Rocco last 4th. of July and can't even think about getting another dog. So I know how you feel. I do own 15 chickens and I purposely don't get too close to them, because I can't take the sorrow in the case of a lost. So you really have to decide if it's worth it to you.

" only you can decide this." My heart is with you and I wish you the best whatever you decide.!

Thank you for the kind words! It is worth the hard times for feeling all the love they give unconditionally. Sorry about your dog Rocco

 

[speckledhen]

 

[GardenerGal]

I've been heartbroken to lose beloved pets, some tragically, including goats, chickens, doves, geese and ducks. Each time, I think "no more," but as humans one of our greatest gifts is to be able to love again. I can't imagine my life without my chickens. I'm planning my will and last wishes so that any animals when I can no longer take care of them (or myself) will go to loving homes. They will all go to a no-kill farm animal adoption center that I will leave part of whatever my estate is to make sure they continue to do the good things they do. But until then, I will keep chickens.

 

[tamtam84]

GardenerGal - I agree that one of our greatest gifts is to be able to love again. Sometimes it's just hard and takes a while to get back to that. But based upon your post I'm sure you understand that well.

That's so great that you're planning your animals into your will and donating part of your estate to the shelter where they would go. I've told my family my wishes regarding my animals if my husband and I were to pass away, but I really need to get it in writing.

Thanks for the encouragement

 

[yomama]

Anytime my girls get sick, or one passes, I always get that feeling of "why do I continue doing this?" I've lost only a few to illness, internal laying, or gastrointestinal infection, and one to Marek's disease. I've also lost some to hawks. The illnesses are the hardest for me, since I don't always know exactly how to deal with them. I was a small animal vet tech for about 12 years. I feel very comfortable dealing with dog and cat issues, and know what I can deal with,and what requires a vet. But when it comes to chickens, some of the things like guessing whether it is internal laying, or maybe something else going on inside, drives me nuts. It makes me feel helpless and somewhat inadequate. Two weeks ago, I discovered all my girls, 12 hens, and 1 duck, had lice. I was completely grossed out, and overwhelmed. In the three years of having chickens, I've never had to deal with any kind of parasites. I can handle blood, guts, poop, worms, etc, but I am totally cootie phobic, lol! Thankfully, I have a wonderful avian vet that is great at answering questions for me over the phone. They even have a tech there that I just love, who specializes in chickens. They gave me the protocol of how to get rid of the lice, and from there I was fine. If I can step back, and get a good plan of action, I can usually deal with things better. I go through the same thing with my goats. I've had them for 7 years, and still feel like I don't know what I'm doing half the time. However, I've already told my husband, when these guys pass, no more goats. They are a little more expensive to vet, feed and care for overall, than chickens. (and they don't give me eggs, either

)

 

[GardenerGal]

I've held off on getting a puppy because I know I'll be devastated when it dies in about 14 years! Talk about sappy. I lost a dear old bantam hen last year, she was over nine years old. She had a long chicken life and I have no complaints. But I still miss her.

yomama,
One of the absolute worst way I've lost chickens was from Marek's. A woman asked me to adopt a lame hen, and I naively did only to discover that it was Marek's. Some of my flock was vaccinated, but the ones that weren't all got Marek's, and for years following that the barn was contaminated. The hardest thing in the world was to put them down. One, I took to the vet for euthanizing, but it was so expensive. The rest I had to do myself and it broke my heart. And this, from someone who eats meat and poultry. Pets are a category of their own, and having to put them down is hard.

I will never take in a non-vaccinated chicken, ever. I won't even incubator-hatch and artificially brood chicks. They all go under a Marek's immune broody so they have at least some opportunity to develop resistance. It's worth it to avoid the heartache of Marek's.

Tamtam84, I understand your feelings. It is hard and it takes time. But starting again with new ones is, to me, like starting a garden in the spring, full of hope that the new seeds will flourish and grow into healthy plants and fill in the empty spaces that winter left barren!