Do you make your kids eat what they are served?

[whitecra]

No I don't make my son eat what he doesn't like. If I didn't like what was brought I wouldn't eat it and I won't make my son. There is no reason to upset them over something like eating. Even if I fix something here that I know he doesn't like but dad and I do then he can have something he does like. I don't cook it for him. He can have a tv dinner or a sandwich. I have friends that would make their child eat green beans and this kid hated them. He would set for hours and then finnaly take a bite. He would throw it up and then they started over. To me what good was that for him. He just threw up he entire meal over green beans.
Chris

 

[cluckychick]

Quote:
I agree with Miss P. My son (15) may not always like what we have or my DH for that matter but they must try it and then they can fix themselves a sandwich. I always have cottage cheese, potato salad, cole slaw or something in the fridge that goes with a sandwich. Our oldest (24) was by far the pickest and his mother allowed it, I did not. He ate or did without and he loves me, lol.

 

[flock4allreasons]

I, too, was raised in a household where you ate what was served or you went hungry. My spouse however, would have an entire seperate meal prepared for her if she did not like what was served in her home. To this day she is discovering new meals she turned her nose up to before. So together our household is slightly different. We expect our children to try what is served, if they do not like it, they do not have to eat it, though I will not make them something different. They may have as many servings of the other dishes prepared for the meal as they like. We have recently had to add a new rule. My middle child (7) has recently started trying everything, deciding he didn't like it, and asking for chips or chocolate or whatever

...you get the drift.. So now we must eat a significant amount of our meal before snacking privileges will be granted. Kids are fun...same child has thrown hissy fits

..claiming he doesn't like a meal that he's enjoyed before mind you,....only to turn around the following time it's served and devour it...sometimes I think he just likes the drama.

 

[walkswithdog]

I was strict about it. Taste everything and if you don't eat what you are served you go hungry. But I was feeding a broad huge spectrum of foods to her very young.

Kids will not starve themselves to death and it's WASTEFUL in this economy for a kid to be turning up their noses at perfectly good nutritious food.

I shudder everytime I see that commercial with the kid in the grocery cart - "I don't LIKE BROCCOLI." And then the mother totally caves and buys Pediasure because the kid will only eat sugar?

I realise you haven't gone that far, but it can go that far. Kids should learn to eat and appreciate the food they are provided with. It comes from hard earned money and well intentioned people. Waste is wrong. Not appreciating someone's EFFORTS at feeding them is wrong. Even if it isn't wonderful, the person serving it, earning the money and providing it free to them should be respected.

Too many kids get a totally free ride, manipulating the adults around them into catering to their limited palate and preferences for things not beneficial. They should respect you, or anyone, who provides them food, enough to eat most of what is offered. People worked for that meal, people MADE it FOR them.

Sure, most people broaden their palates as they age, but they would have done better to be taught a broad palate earlier on. A more varied diet provides better nutrition.

You enjoy MORE meals, and more foods and get more joy out of eating now than before. Letting a child limit him/herself is also limiting potential enjoyment.

Letting a child define it's life, in disrespect of what is provided, and without the ability and interest in trying new foods is allowing the inexperienced to limit their lives.

Some kids allowed to avoid nutritious foods NEVER develop a palate for vegetables, for whole grains, for foods lower in sodium and sugar.

I didn't even LET my daughter have sugar until she was three, no candy, no soda, but birthday cake - once a year. After three, though she would eat and enjoy sweets, she never went over board. To this day she's not a big sweet eater. A bit is enough. For us both.

What you teach now may well affect the child for it's entire life. Some people don't grow up and change to a broader palate.

Unfortunately those kids don't come with warning labels identifying them. So it's up to you.

 

[Pupsnpullets]

Miss Prissy, you make some good points.

I'd like to add as children growing up we had some latitude of what we ate at home (and there was no junk food so the default option was usually an apple or something relatively healthy), but when we went out we ate what was put in front of us. A large part of that was the respect issue. If someone has gone to the trouble to prepare a delicious meal - and sometimes the term 'delicious' could be debated, but that's another story - then my parents felt, as I do now, that eating was the right thing to do. It is gracious, and it also gives the little ones an opportunity to consider other peoples' feelings and appreciate the efforts of others, ie, it is not always about me.

As Miss Jayne says, 'thanks mom for the great meat' is a great thing to have your kids say at home, too. Too many kids these days have no appreciation or gratitude.


Of course, something that is truly hideous or the diner is allergic to is a deal breaker, but then the opportunity arises to teach the kids how to graciously decline without causing offense to the cook.

So, in summary, you could possibly use this whole situation as a learning experience and that way both your kids and your husband can find some middle ground - and you aren't the meat in the sandwich!

Edited for grammar.

 

[ZooMummzy]

Quote:
Yes, this is the way I was raised and how I do things in my home too. We ate dinner with my grandparents and great grandparents almost every night. My kids think I'm mean and old fashioned, but I know (hope) someday they will appreciate it. It's not really so much the whole food issue of eating because they certainly won't starve - it's more the attitude and respect. Dinner time was always a very social and learning time for me growing up, so I really put a lot of emphasis on that part. The food is just a bonus in my eyes. It's hard because my husband was not raised this way so it seems to be a constant battle.

My kid's tastes change weekly so I just keep making them try new things. We do have lots of "whatever nights" where they can fix what they want to eat. I am also trying to incorporate one night a week where they are in complete charge of the meal from shopping to clean up. I want them to see just how hard it really is to plan a meal every night that everyone will enjoy. They hate it, so I guess it is tough love

 

[redhen]

hi..i make mine "taste" it..and then if they still dont like it..they get peanut butter and jelly and some fruit....i do foster care..and i really find that kids will try to manipulate us through food....i dont let them..if they dont want what we are eating..they get good old pb&j.....i also dont let them..pick and choose which "part" of the meal they want to eat....like..they want the beans.....and no hot dog....i let them know..you eat everything...or get a sandwich..

..

 

[derby]

There are so many issues involved with eating! After a few years of angst in this household, I think we have settled on the following plan: Every person is allowed one food they don;t have to eat. My eldest dd always consistently hated potatoes, so I don't serve her potatoes though I make them for everyone else. My second dd really doesn't like green beans and dh can't stand mushrooms and I hate pepperoni. That said, the kids are served 1 spoonful of each thing for dinner whcih they are required to eat (except that most hated food). After that, they may go back for more of what they prefer. If they choose not to go back and are still hungry, they are free to eat raw veggies or fruit that they prepare for themselves.

The bottom line that I stress is - they must eat a balanced diet and they are abosultely not allowed to complain about their dinner. Thridly, I am not a short order cook. Everyone eats the same thing. I absolutely will not make different meals, cut crust off bread, cut sandwiches in triangles instead of squares, peel apples, etc. And yes, they even get to eat pepperoni pizza - but I'm allowed to pick the pepperoni's off mine!

In your case of a potluck, I would pack some fresh fruit and carrots sticks and let them eat that if they want.

Derby

 

[Bassleg]

My husband on the other hand, was raised you eat what is put in front of you or go hungry.

If you make your kids something different to eat they will always want to get there own way the rest of there life, in everything not just food,
my cousin aways got his own at the table and everytime
he want something different and one time he didn't later in life he killed himself over it.

 

[pdsavage]

I don't make my kids eat what they dont like.I think with all the eating proublems now days either to much or to less why push my luck and have children who either over eat or wont eat at all.
I remember when I was about 6 years old sitting for hours at the table being made to eat lima beans I would gag one down,it took me hours to eat those lima beans.To this day I still hate them.That wasnt the last time my mom did that......
Any way i figure my kid wont starve if they dont eat a helping of what ever it is a parent wants them to eat,just leaves more for me....And the world wont end if they dont eat that one serving of lima beans.
they are individuals who say they dont like something and here comes an adult saying you should have the same taste I do now eat this.