Thanks for all the advice, folks, and the discussions, it is helping me decide what to do, really it is.
It's too bad that folks who sell horses/donkeys more often than not aren't honest about it. I knew he had a nipping issue, but none of his other faults. Just from how he acts, I do believe it was something he learned - and that he was probably all alone in a field or pasture and hadn't any interaction with other donkeys or horses. Most of his issues seem to be socializing problems.
We have worked a lot with him, and worked through some of the issues.
I'm still undecided about what to do. I'm inclined to just make two pastures and put him in with the smaller girls, in one and put the standards in the other. Maybe fewer companions might help him learn better how to interact. (Plus, Mama donkey don't take no crap, she'll keep him in line
)
eta - his food issues, while he is all alone, are nothing. He practically ignores his corn in the morning, and leaves it there to nibble at half the day. BIG difference from trying to eat everything before other donkeys get to it.
meri