Dumbest Things People Have Said About Your Chickens/Eggs/Meat

[The Yakima Kid]

Dude no. Koalas aren't cute and cuddly. Okay the babies are...but the adults are stinky hump monsters that snort and tear holes in you with their teeth if you try to touch them. Nopenopenope.

I know that and you know that - but every city / suburb person I know who is going to Australia for some reason wants to "go into the outback" and pet the koalas and kangaroos. It's all I can do to resist suggesting that they break into the zoo and have a practice session with the buffalo (I think in Australia and Europe you call them bison.) Or at least have a close visit with a jack ***, Shetland stallion, or Jersey bull first. They have no idea that a kangaroo can rear back on its hind legs and gut you. I think they never hung out with any zookeepers or lived any place where the wildlife considered one either a threat to be stomped or not quite fast enough food.

In California someone planted eucalyptus over the state, which makes life interesting in fire season. The trees themselves are very odorous and contain all sorts of intoxicants. Something I have always wondered is if koalas have extremely sophisticated livers and if they spend their lives stoned out of their minds.

 

[The Yakima Kid]

I like Tazzy Devils.

They had some at a zoo I was at once, apparently part of a breeding program because of the tumors that are killing them in the wild. They really look like the cartoon.

 

[The Yakima Kid]

maybe one of these is under your bed

That amazing critter looks like a really cool case of convergent evolution. Why, it looks just like a friendly doggy. If it weren't extinct, we could hold contests to see how many tourists lost hands trying to pet it.

It's so sad that it is gone. It seems a very nervous animal, more so than a placental wolf.

 

[The Yakima Kid]

I use Chippewa 23913 Men's Snake Boot when im hiking and hunting just to be on the safe side.

Those work.

 

[tridentk9]

That amazing critter looks like a really cool case of convergent evolution. Why, it looks just like a friendly doggy. If it weren't extinct, we could hold contests to see how many tourists lost hands trying to pet it.

It's so sad that it is gone. It seems a very nervous animal, more so than a placental wolf.

Do you blame it- that was the lasr known Tasmanian Tiger! For a wild creature- an open cage with no hiding places is not comfortable.

I want to know how the marsupial pouch worked for the tasmanian tiger.

 

[tridentk9]

I know that and you know that - but every city / suburb person I know who is going to Australia for some reason wants to "go into the outback" and pet the koalas and kangaroos. It's all I can do to resist suggesting that they break into the zoo and have a practice session with the buffalo (I think in Australia and Europe you call them bison.) Or at least have a close visit with a jack ***, Shetland stallion, or Jersey bull first. They have no idea that a kangaroo can rear back on its hind legs and gut you. I think they never hung out with any zookeepers or lived any place where the wildlife considered one either a threat to be stomped or not quite fast enough food.

In California someone planted eucalyptus over the state, which makes life interesting in fire season. The trees themselves are very odorous and contain all sorts of intoxicants. Something I have always wondered is if koalas have extremely sophisticated livers and if they spend their lives stoned out of their minds.

North America has bison. Not sure why the first nation word was translated to buffalo since Europe has bison too.

ROFL- I used to hang out at a zoo with zookeepers- my high school was at the local zoo. Really.

 

[7 Biddies]

Speaking of ... My high school BFF just left after a weeklong visit. Our communication 2 hours later is below:


Good thing you left when you did. I was just stripping the sheets from your bed, throwing the comforter and throw on the floor and removing the top sheet and pillow cases. I took those to the laundry room and returned to your room to remove the bottom sheet. First, however, I pushed the comforter out of the way and touched something soft and black that moved away from my hand. I moved the comforter some more and saw that it was a snake!! I grabbed a 5 gallon bucket and, carefully exposing the snake, I covered it with the bucket. I then held the bucket down securely and slid it slowly all the way to the front door. I propped the screen door open, grabbed the flat shovel, then slid the bucket up to the threshold. I tipped up the side of the bucket that was nearest the door to let the snake escape towards the porch, then threw the bucket off and used the shovel to fling it outside. It scooted into the garden.

It appeared to be a black snake or a king snake about 2 feet long. <shudder> Where it came from, I have no idea.

I immediately got a call in response to my email.

Her: Are you telling me I slept with a snake last night?

Me: I have no idea. Did you?

H: Well, when I got into bed last night, I felt something move against my foot, but I thought it was Milo.

M: No. I threw Milo out last night with the rest of the cats.

H: OMG. I slept with a snake last night.

M: Well, that *would* explain where it came from when I found it. I was mystified. If it was in your bed, it came out when I threw the covers off and that’s why it was under the comforter on the floor.

H: I can feel my heart rate increasing and I'm starting to sweat.

M: Yeah, I’m glad we found out afterward. Otherwise you’d have been taken out of here on a stretcher and receiving CPR.

Of all people, this had to happen to her. She’s afraid of the chickens because they flap their wings. She’s such a city girl that she won’t even go in the backyard the entire time she’s here. She closed and locked her bedroom windows as soon as she arrived, and carries a handgun with her everywhere; she’s licensed to carry a concealed weapon. In other words, She packs heat! She has fears about her fears. Anxiety doesn’t begin to describe it. OMG.

On further thought, I finally figured out that the cat, who took a shine to my friend, brought her a gift and left it in her bed. He didn't kill it as he would normally do, because he wanted to reserve that honor for her.

 

[lazy gardener]

On further thought, I finally figured out that the cat, who took a shine to my friend, brought her a gift and left it in her bed. He didn't kill it as he would normally do, because he wanted to reserve that honor for her.

Growing up, I had a cat like that. When I slept out in the tent, he'd show up at the tent flap, about every 2 hours with a muffled meow, ready to deposit his latest snack for my dining pleasure. Mouse, squirrel, bird, frog. He saw to it that I never went hungry. Letting him sleep with me was always an adventure. He weighed 17#, all pure muscle, and he preferred to lay on my belly, or between my knees, effectively making it nearly impossible to roll over in bed!

 

[The Yakima Kid]

Do you blame it- that was the lasr known Tasmanian Tiger! For a wild creature- an open cage with no hiding places is not comfortable.

I want to know how the marsupial pouch worked for the tasmanian tiger.

No, I don't blame it at all. Some animals are nervous as a survival trait. Ever met a calm coyote? I haven't.

 

[cassie]

In California someone planted eucalyptus over the state, which makes life interesting in fire season. The trees themselves are very odorous and contain all sorts of intoxicants. Something I have always wondered is if koalas have extremely sophisticated livers and if they spend their lives stoned out of their minds.

Eucalyptus trees are one of the few things I really miss since I left California. They are fast growing and make wonderful windbreaks. Plus, if you are dependent on wood heat like I was when I lived in California, you can't beat Eucalyptus for firewood. You can cut it and it grows right back and it makes a hot fire with very little ash. If you cut the trees when they are six to eight inches in diameter you don't even have to split it.