Explaining death to a 5 year old, when it happens in front on him.

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by southernsibe, Dec 9, 2007.

  1. southernsibe

    southernsibe Songster

    Jun 15, 2007
    kensington, maryland
    As most of you probably know, we haven't always lived in the country. So our children are new to "farm" life. We've had to put a dog to sleep due to health, but now we have lost a chicken. We have lost others to various predators, but they were gone and burred long before the kids were outside. Luckily we have so many that they haven't really noticed when one or two were missing. Well, today one of the dogs indeed got out of the fencing and chased down and killed one of the silkies. The silkies are special to the kids, I think because they are so small themselves. Unfortunately, they were both standing on the front porch when it happened, literally about 30 feet from them. My daughter is only 2 and I don't think she realized exactly what happened. However, my 5 year old son knew right away. Any ideas on how to deal with this or help him to process it? I don't want him to blame the dog, it wasn't his fault, he was just doing what comes naturally to him.
  2. DuckLady

    DuckLady Administrator

    Jan 11, 2007
    NE Washington State
    Explain it simply like you did above.
    It happens. You can go on to use as an example why it is important to understand different species and what they are capable of and how to protect the prey from the predators.

    I am sorry this happened.
  3. seedcorn

    seedcorn Songster

    Apr 25, 2007
    NE. IN
    Tough situation but it will make both of you stronger in long run. Just deal w/facts w/o going into a lot hyperbole.

    I had to deal w/family pet dog getting killed in front of my 5 year old by neighbors pit bull. As I told my neighbor, he is lucky it was our dog and not my daughter. Otherwise I'd be in jail.
  4. texaschickmama

    texaschickmama Songster

    Sep 19, 2007
    Poolville, TX
    I think everyone is right. Just make it as simple as you can and deal with only the facts. I'm sorry you have to do this at all. You sound like a great mom and I'm sure the right words will come to you. [​IMG]
  5. jeaucamom

    jeaucamom Songster

    Oct 1, 2007
    Ophir, CA
    The child will definitely take his/her clues from you on how to deal with this emotionally. It's okay to cry but we pick up and move on. It's sad, but lets keep enjoying the ones we have left, and above all, this is why we have to be very careful to keep the dog in. Kids are surprisingly resilient. I'm sure they will come out of this better/stronger/more mature. Good luck. Suz
  6. silkiechicken

    silkiechicken Staff PhD

    Yep, I agree, explain it to them and tell the truth about what happened.
  7. BlueDevilGirl67

    BlueDevilGirl67 In the Brooder

    Aug 30, 2007
    Central NC
    I agree, Just explain it to him like you explained it to us. Kids take things better than us adults do sometimes. I have proof of that myself just last week with my kitty. Good luck and my sympathies about your loss.
  8. Katy

    Katy Flock Mistress

    I always felt my kids had an "advantage" over their friends in town because living on a farm with livestock they saw death from an early age and learned to better deal with it. Not that there weren't a lot of tears shed over the kittens and calves or whatever that died, but they knew death is a part of life.

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