So it's fair week. (AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!) I just need a bit of a rant here. un A few weeks ago we'd been seriously talking about getting two goats. (Well, one was pregnant, but that's beside the point right now.) My dad is the one who handles most of the livestock matters with us. We were a day or two away from going to get the goats, when my dad asked my mom what she thought of them. (Although she'd been around for the discussions and what-not, we'd never really asked her flat-out if she wanted to get goats. Personally, I don't see why we needed to ask her anyways, as she has VERY little to do with the animals, besides occasionly getting feed and all of that jazz.) She muttered to my dad "Well, I don't know how we can afford it." ARGH! I don't mean to sound vain or snotty or anything, but money is not really a problem for us. Not that we're rich, but we can afford this sort of thing. She hadn't even thought about it, and said NO! This ticked my dad off, and he-who-can-really-be-moody sometimes immediately went into sulky-mode, and said repeatedly "No we're not getting goats" and wouldn't even talk about it with us. (Us as in me and my brother and sister) Later on my mother did say that after she'd worked it out, we COULD afford it, after all. Now that fair week's rolled around, talks of the livestock auction has been floating around our heads. My siblings and I have offered to my mother to pay for the inital cost of the goats, probably around 25 bucks or so, and the first few bags of feed, which would last quite a while. You would not BELIEVE how much research I've done over the past YEAR about the darn critters. We're talking about Pygmy Goats, by the way. We already have a shed-type thing attached to the chicken coop, where the feed and straw is currently being stored. My dad still refuses to even discuss it. We've talked to some goat-owners in 4H yesterday, and they said that the pygmies would be auctioned off as meat goats. (We'd have them for pets. ) As in REALLY CHEAP! We're talking 60 cents a pound here, people, and it's not like pygmies are champion heavy-weights!!!!! There's two goats in particular that my siblings and I were looking at- they're a few months old. One's fawn and the other's grey (agouti? whatever the official name is. ) My dad says any more discussion about goats, and we'll NEVER get them. He's latched on to the saying "maybe next summer", which I know will never happen. Anyway's, I'll be going into high school, my brother middle school, and my sister third grade- which is the first year to do 4-H. Even my brother wants these goats, which is really saying a lot. I don't know what the problem is with my dad? Can you guys give my any suggestions or anything? We are so disappointed and angry, it's awful!!!! We have to do something by this Friday, or I'm afraid we'll have lost a wonderful oppurtunity. I just don't know what to do!!!!
Why not try to sit your parents down and have a real adult conversation with them. Give them specific reasons why you and your siblings want goats, not just "because we want them". No matter what they say you have to respect the fact that they are the parents. They could just do you like my parents did me, "When you move out of my house you can have whatever animal you want". Now I have 32.
I'm sorry. I don't have much advice for you because I always got what I wanted. I was spoiled growing up! I'm still spoiled but I pay for all of my own "gotta have it right now" things. I did want to mention this... are you sure you can get a goat that cheaply at the 4-H fair auction? All of the 4-H fair auctions I've ever been to had the animals priced way above "normal" auctions. It seems that corporate sponsors are usually the ones buying these animals so the 4-H'er make money on their projects. Do you have a local livestock auction house around? Take care and good luck, Tami
Speaking as a mom here (sorry!), there is always WAY more work and WAY more money and WAY more time for any animal than you think there is going to be. There is a hole in the fencing/the goat is sick/the goat got hurt/we need more bedding/we need more food/we are going on vacation, who is watching the animals?/Is the goat limping?/the goat just ate a $30 plant-- no wait, 3 $30 plants/etc.... It goes on and on. And while I know you are sure that you are going to be the one taking care of the goats, it will always be more money and time and effort for them than it will be for you. So that is where they are coming from. That doesn't mean that you SHOULDN'T get it, or even that you WON'T--- but it is extremely advantageous for you to understand where they are coming from (so you can crush down every doubt!) 1. Is it a money thing? 2. Is it that your mom thinks your all thrilled about it now, but she thinks that in a year when you have your first boyfriend and are playing softball, you are going to be ignoring them and she will be responsible for them for the next ____ years??? 3. Is it JUST ONE MORE *&^% thing that you have to do/care for/worry about as a mom? (There are a ton of them by the way--- many that you cannot even imagine right now (promise!)) Whatever her real concern is (ask her!) think about it-- respect her concerns and see how your attitude/behavior/willingness to do ________ can help her concerns be alleviated. Good luck "From the child my parents said HAD to become an attorney, because I always beat my mom in debates--- and she IS an attorney!!"
Ugh, I know how you feel. Sounds like my parents when I was younger! But I can't blame them too much. If I had gotten everything when I was younger my house would be a zoo! (even more than it is now ;-) Your 4-H auction may pass, but that doesn't mean you will be missing the only opportunity. Goats are usually available throughout the year (especially neutered males), so don't worry about that too much. Don't continuously ask your dad about getting them. That will only get him angry. Instead, write out a list or talk to him like an adult. Show him you will be a responsible person when caring for them and that will heighten your chances of getting them a whole lot! I know if I cleaned up my barn, or did something nice for my parents, it would go a long way too. Either that or I would ask them when they were really tired (or after a glass of wine LOL) and usually that would be enough to get them to say yes. It's disheartening when they say no, but keep trying or busy yourself with more poultry! Now the deal at my house is that I can have any outside animal as long as it doesn't need yearly/monthly shots or other expensive things. I also need to be sure I have enough room for them. Technically I'm not allowed any indoor animals because I'm leaving for college in the fall. However, today I found a baby bird that fell out of it's nest and I took it with me. My mom didn't say a word against it! lol
Well. Yeah, I go with the advice of the real adults here. I'm only an adult by law. It may not seem like a lot of money for one goat for 60 cents a lb... but what about feed, vet bills, and misc stuff like shelter and repair. I am only beginning to understand how much everything costs... even though I am still VERY VERY spoiled... At your age, a single vet visit may be more than your whole after school paycheck if you work. Everything adds up for your parents and it is possible that even though you might not think money is an issue it just may be. There are a lot of "hidden" costs of living. Health/car/home insurance, house costs, water costs, heating costs, food costs.. all thousands a year. I never knew how much I cost to be raised till I started asking! Man I'm expensive to keep alive. I would try talking with them and if it really is a no, I would wait till you can support the goat yourself and they may be more willing in the future. In HS, I worked at selling eggs and chicks and today my chicken enterprise is entirely self supporting. Maybe you could do that too with the goats.
As a mom (who loves animals and have always wanted 'one of everything' but lived in the city until five years ago) of eight children I would be more than willing to listen to my children (and have) about adding a new animal to our home. I would need more than words from them about how they will take care of it and feed it and clean up after it, etc. I would be watching everyday to see how they handle the rest of life. Do they keep their own room clean? If they have other chores or responsibilities do they do them without my reminding them and do them well? Are they treating their siblings respectfully and helping them with things (this is specifically if they have younger siblings)? In other words .. actions speak volumes more than words. It would also help a great deal if you either have a job or can do part time work here and there to help cover the costs (as mentioned above) that always come with animals. The other thing I might mention is that you may want to (in an adult conversation with your parents) point out to them that by having goats taking up your time that it will keep you off the streets, messing around with friends and maybe getting into trouble, keep you off drugs (you better already be off drugs and that you will be learning more responsiblity and preparing yourself for your future when you leave home. You have already shown great responsibility by researching this so thoroughly. Don't nag ... just keep a good attitude and "show" your parents that you can take on this responsibility and continue it long term by everything else you do around the house.