Fallen deep into a funk....possible cervical cancer....UPDATE

[crzychickenlady]

Most of you have been wondering about me and my whereabouts as of late....I know some of you miss me in chat.

Well, of course, there is the arrival of Hayden that has kept me busy, but it's not just that.
I have fallen into a well of depression

and haven't much felt like doing anything...including getting out of bed.

I find it hard to want to get up in the morning, Hayden sleeps with me, so we just stay in bed most of the day. Everything just seems so overwhelming I can't stand it!
Things with David are hit and miss and I'm finding myself very unhappy with him in the last few weeks. Don't get me wrong, he loves Hayden and is there for him, doing all the daddy things...but this only happens on weekends my other 2 kids are away with their dads. I do love him, but I just can't juggle 2 lives and it seems like that is what he wants me to do. One life with him and Hayden and the other with my family and other 2 kids.
Going back and forth from here to there is becoming very draining for me.
Ohh...and there's his jealousy issues as well, being accused of cheating or even just talking to another man......which in all rights, I should be doing! To find someone to accept us ALL as a package deal. That's neither here nor there, cos I don't even have the energy or will to do that at this point!

Not to mention, money is VERY tight right now, I'm on the verge of losing my Jeep...which i love so much and I can't seem to get any help. Our phones got shut off yesterday, they don't want to work with me on payments, same with my Jeep.
I can't afford daycare to get back to work making what I normally make, and I couldn't imagine going back into nursing with my back problems now. Since my injury last year, I am in so much pain.

So, each day feels as hopeless as the one before and I'm falling deeper and deeper into depression.....

*takes a deep breath* Ahhhhhhhhhh

Thanks for letting me vent......

 

[Emzyyy]

Im sorry I hope things get better for you and your family

 

[key west chick]

hang in there. I know how it can be.

 

[ranchhand]

I don't know you well enough to make suggestions, other than to not give up hope!

I hope things start looking up soon!

 

[Chew593]

We're right there with you! I pray alot... that helps.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

See your doctor about the depression. If it's post partum, it can take way way too long to go away by itself. By then you might have done things you would regret. See a doctor. Just put one foot in front of the other until you can get help. Best wishes!

 

[M@M@2four]

Quote:
Agreed--sounds like post partum depression, which can be horrible. Your signs are classic--not wanting to get out of bed, staying in bed, not doing much of anything. I have had 4 children(all by c-section and all in less than 5 years) and understand exactly what you are going through. Way's I shook the blues was by making myself get out of bed, getting a shower, getting ready for the day, going outside with the baby, taking walks, and getting out. Find a little playgroup in your area where once a week you meet and just chat and socialize with other moms--this was a great stress relief for me. Good luck and remember to take care of yourself!!! God bless!!!

 

[jonathansenn]

lots of prayers for you. There's always a rough patch after you gals pop out a baby (makes me glad to be a guy). All of the other problems don't help either. Just know that all of us here will be rootin' for you and praying it gets better.

 

[b.hromada]

Quote:
Most definately! A doctor can set you on the right course. Please don't hesitate. I understand how you feel, I get so depressed, and depression hurts more than any other pain. It doesn't help that things are not going well with you either, this only compounds those feelings. Please keep us posted, I pray you feel better soon.

 

[WingingIt]

Please call your OB or your regular doctor and make an appt. to be seen for post pardum depression. Getting help for that can make things seem so much clearer and then you can make a plan. I hope things get better fast.