I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I think we've all felt that way on occasion to a degree.
I lost a lavender orpington that was my favorite to a hawk last spring because I went in the house for a few minutes. I was so depressed, she wasn't even a year old. One of my older hens actually jumped up in my lap that afternoon. It was so odd as she had never been friendly before and never has been again. Anyway it made me concerned for the remaining flock. I had to go on keeping them because I had my old girls and 11 new chicks to think about. It really did get better with time.
I hope that your remaining flock members recover. Please cry on our shoulders any time you need friends.
I lost a lavender orpington that was my favorite to a hawk last spring because I went in the house for a few minutes. I was so depressed, she wasn't even a year old. One of my older hens actually jumped up in my lap that afternoon. It was so odd as she had never been friendly before and never has been again. Anyway it made me concerned for the remaining flock. I had to go on keeping them because I had my old girls and 11 new chicks to think about. It really did get better with time.
I hope that your remaining flock members recover. Please cry on our shoulders any time you need friends.