Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[KristyHall]

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A couple family friends (a married couple) always has great stories. The husband has been a country boy his whole life while the wife has been a city girl her whole life.
When they married he decided that they should move back to rural Alabama to be closer to his family. so no their way here she saw cows for the first time. She stopped the car in the middle of the road and got out and started taking pictures. Then when they finally arrived at his child hood home in Lawrence county (A very rural county) he said she got out of the car, looked around, started swearing and got into the car and drove back north. He had to go back up north to convince her to come back down to their new home.

At one point they both worked separate shifts so he had taken to sleeping on the couch so he wouldn't wake her. Well he had a bad habit about taking his clothes off as he walked down the hall, leaving a trail along the way which drove her up the wall. One evening she got home, he was asleep on the couch and she was walking down the dark hall when she saw his belt in the floor. She grabbed it up and started fussing when the belt move. It was a big black snake. She screamed threw it into the bathroom door, slammed it shut then raced into the living room where she landed on his chest with both knees still screaming. When he was able to figure out what was going on he got up and headed into the bathroom to see the snake. He opened the door and leaned in cautiously. before he could tun on the light she SHOVED him into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind. He said he lept up instinctively and landed, in the dark, with one foot on th edge of the sink and the other one in the toilet since he had no idea what kind of snake he was in there with. He managed to find the light and was relieved to find a very long black racer. So he picked up the snake and called out to her that it is a harmless black racer but she wouldn't let him out of the bathroom.
They argued through the door for almost an hour before she let g o of the door knob and let him out. He took the snake out and let it go. we still love the story!

 

[KristyHall]

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I hate that one! "do you have chickens or roosters?"Anybody ever heard of the word "hen"?

Even though I know that, I still call hens chickens on occasion. It's just a habit for me.

 

[KristyHall]

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What area of the hog does bacon come from anyway?

 

[goldenluver]

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What area of the hog does bacon come from anyway?

I believe it's the belly

 

[Peaches Lee]

Well feel free to roast me, as I have grown up on a farm, but....this Christmas my mom got a bunch of nuts complete with their shells. She told me what each one was--and I was totally like, "Nuts have shells?" The idea of cracking open a shell and extricating a nut in which to eat was slightly mind boggling for me I guess because of today's ready-to-eat nuts packaging. You sort of do lose the perspective of where things come from in today's Fast Food society because we (well, some of us) are so far removed.

 

[KristyHall]

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My sister and her children lived with me for a short while. She insisted on buying eggs form the store because the eggs from my chicken had dirt and poop all over them. When I heard her say this I was upset and went to check the eggs.
It was the egg's coloring. They're speckled and mottled brown. I tried to explain that it is the egg's natural coloring but she still insisted on eating only the eggs she bought form the store.

 

[KristyHall]

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Well, depends on if they believe if life begins at fertilization or not.

 

[dmiravalle]

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My sister and her children lived with me for a short while. She insisted on buying eggs form the store because the eggs from my chicken had dirt and poop all over them. When I heard her say this I was upset and went to check the eggs.
It was the egg's coloring. They're speckled and mottled brown. I tried to explain that it is the egg's natural coloring but she still insisted on eating only the eggs she bought form the store.

Don't feel bad, my mom is the same way. She will ONLY eat white eggs from the store.

 

[KristyHall]

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rofl! did you draw that yourself?

 

[quintinp]

my grandma, of all people told me that the hen layed the egg, and then the rooster came instantly behind her and sprayed the egg to fertilize it, how he would do that, only she would know