Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

DIL came over one day and she was asking me how I made the dip I had at her party. It was hot pepper relish and cream cheese. very easy but I can my own pepper relish every year. She insisted she could by the stuff at the store for the dip. I took her to the basement and showed her all of the canned goods and she said.......( she's over 30, BTW)...


...are you ready for this...



...."Wow. That's a lot of jars. Do you have a machine that does that for you?"
 
I think it must be that adjusting to city life doesn't lead to as many humorous questions as rural life. A lot of the questions I've gotten from rural folks in the city were on the theme of "how does the subway/train work." Like, where to buy tickets, how much it costs, which train goes where, how to read the schedule. And you get those questions even from fellow city slickers, when they are from a different city.

Only vaguely amusing things I can think of off the top of my head were parents visiting universities with their kids, who assumed that any and every one within sight on campus is happy to be their personal tour guide/answer-person. Because, you know, we don't have any visiting Nobel Laureates who are running between their symposium and their meeting with the presidential cabinet at Tufts, Haavaahd and MIT or anything. The parents usually get quite offended when they are gently told that their questions should be directed to the admissions office, because heaven knows when they visited the state school in Midwestern State, everyone was happy to drop what they were doing to hear about how Junior got straight As in high school...aren't us city folks so rude!

Many of the things I hear from rural people who are innocent of the big city life, are not really funny. It just makes me sad for the state of education in America, sort of thing.
 
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"Do they bite?" referencing a heifer slowly chewing her hay.
"I thought cows were the size of dogs. I've only ever seen them from the road." Sister in law, first time she visited.
 
When we lived in the city of Decatur, a suburb of Atlanta, most of the time I was growing up, we had a Shetland pony that my dad boarded nearby, but on weekends, brought her home. We had a stable in the backyard next to my playhouse. One day when he staked her out in the front yard, a boy rode up on his bicycle and watched the pony for a minute. Then he turns to me with eyes as big as saucers and asks, "Is that a...a.. cow??" I was incredulous. Couldnt understand why anyone wouldnt know the diff between a pony and a cow.
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More recently, my grown nephew asked what we had to do to eggs before we could eat them.
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Someone should put these in a book--really funny! BUT it is a little scary. Don't kids look at books anymore with farm animals? Every poll seems to have 10% who haven't a clue about anything--this is scary because some of these funny people will grow up to be politicians and enact farm laws. Yikes!
 
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Pretty sure spotlighting for deer in all states is illegal......so I'd turn the sob's in .

Not sure about other states, but spotlighting is not illegal in Michigan if done before or after season and as long you have no weapons in your vehicle. Of course, it is never ok to spotlight someone's house.
 
When i was a kid I asked my grandpa if I could go ice fishing with him and he said there wasn't any room so I asked well how many people can fit in the boat?! He was talking about the ice fishing shack they have!
 

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