Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[DragonEggs]

The classic "How do you get eggs with no rooster?" still gets me everytime...

I think the best thing I've heard so far happened just last week. We had to hurry up and move from N FL to S FL in like a day and I was only able to take a few of my favorite chickens and a small pen to keep them in the backyard in. One of those chickens is very well feathered white silkie roo who is still learning to crow. Sometimes he gets it right, sometimes he doesnt. I had one of my chickens out in my lap and was petting it in the backyard when the neighbors who lived behind us came over to let me know they had no problems with my chickens or my rooster crowing (I had only been there like 3 days and my roo had only crowed a few times that actually sounded like crowing). They commented on the chicken I was holding (a frizzled naked neck mix) saying how weird it looks. I said "You should see what else I've got". My roo took that moment to lift his head just high enough to be seen from behind the bush where I had the pen and crow. It was one of those crows that didn't come out quite right and sounded more like a wookie noise. My neighbor then freaks and shouts to his roomates "Holy $#!7! Guys come look at this miniature llama!"

That was a hell of a few hours showing and explaining my chickens to these guys. It was like watching some kids in a toy store though, it was amusing! They kept asking to touch the waddle or touch their feet and did so like shy little girls and sometimes even squealed and giggled a bit.

 

[PippyChicken]

Quote:
Miniature llama?? HAHAHAHAHA

 

[DAFox]

My Grandmother was raised in a rural environment. She married my Grandfather and moved to the city where they raised 4 girls, including my mother. She in turn married my father, (another 1 generation off the farm) and moved to the suburbs. I always wanted to have a farm and 5 years ago, here I am on 40 acres. Anyway, the first time I brought my mother to our farm she asked "What are they going to do with that empty lot next door?" It is a 100 acre pasture.
I said "You mean the field, the pasture?"
"Yeah, that empty lot."
"Oh, they're going to turn it into a parking lot."
"You're kidding."
"Of course, I am kidding. It isn't an empty lot. It is a pasture and hay field!"

Dale-Ann

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
This is really freaky. I think your hubby might be my ex boyfriend, lol! My ex also has a large scar from an intestinal surgery right after he was born. And he too makes up absurd stories, and most people really do believe him!

One is: Oh, this is from Nam..... I don't like to talk about it...... (He is too young to have been in the Vietnam war)
Another is: Shark attack. I was deep sea diving and a shark attacked me. And the listener says, "Oh my god, and he bit you?!" and my ex says, "No, I punched him in the face and as he turned to flee his fin sliced right through me".

That's such a strange coincidence! If you didn't say your hubby was born in 1980 I would swear they're the same person! Weird.

 

[imtc]

a friend of mine had a deer head mounted on the wall. Their little nephew was over and looked mezmorized by it and finally asked if it was real. When told "yes" there was a long pause before the little boy asked "what do you feed it?"

 

[PineappleMama]

Quote:
Just last night I had to explain this AGAIN to the In Laws, sister and mother... they just weren't getting it...

I finally said "Well do you HAVE to have a man around each month to get YOUR cycle?"

And then they got really upset... because in that family you don't do personal... not even hypothetically...

Eventually DH jumped in with "It's their ovulation, no roo means no chick, but the egg still happens. "

Feathers were still ruffled... *sigh*

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

My cousin married a man from the Bronx.

We had given them some hens for them to get eggs from. Exact conversation:

"Kevin, would you go out and get the eggs so we can eat them for breakfast."
"I ain't eating no chicken-butt eggs! I'm going to the store!"

 

[Zahboo]

we used to have a mobile home on a hill, not a high slope, but none the less, a hill. We had a woman come out to look at a foster dog. First, she thought the dirt road was for pedestrians, so she walked down the 2 mile driveway and complained because a truck almost hit her. She got there and wouldn't come in the house. She saw the mobile home and said "mobile homes come on wheels right?" Well... yeah. She went to the end of the porch, about 10 feet and said, I don't want to die if it goes rolling away. She said she didn't want a wind to come and roll our house down the hill. She also insisted the chicken barked at her

 

[Telamon]

Quote:
xD xD

 

[fratermus]

Took a girlfriend from college out to meet the folks. She saw a smallish heifer in the field an remarked how big it was. I told her it really wasn't very big, and asked her how big she thought cows were.

"About the size of a dog."