Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[Amyable]

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Better stay away from dogs too, they carry dog ticks.

 

[groaners]

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No joke, I've had about FIVE OR SIX different people at different times tell me that "why do I have to kill helpless innocent animals when I can just buy meat from the grocery store"

Some more:
Ridiculous claims that Cattle are the source of wildlife going extinct, they outcompete wild animals like deer, they are an environmental disaster, their farts cause global warming

People that literally look like their going into shock when I tell them I breed rabbits for meat...by their reactions you'd think I would of said I raise BABIES to eat! Sheesh!

 

[FireTigeris]

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No joke, I've had about FIVE OR SIX different people at different times tell me that "why do I have to kill helpless innocent animals when I can just buy meat from the grocery store"

Some more:
Ridiculous claims that Cattle are the source of wildlife going extinct, they outcompete wild animals like deer, they are an environmental disaster, their farts cause global warming

People that literally look like their going into shock when I tell them I breed rabbits for meat...by their reactions you'd think I would of said I raise BABIES to eat! Sheesh!

BABY RABBITS... j/k

 

[Taylor]

i think this is hilarious!! anyway, one day as I was working out in the flowerbed and so this guy pulls up and is selling textbooks, and he was from upper north somewhere, and he said to me i wish I could help you work, and i said yeah, and he said to me, "may I ask you a question" I said "ya" then he said " why is that dirt black for" "has it been burned?" i was like, no thats what we call black mulch! it's pretty common down here in the south. he was like I feel so dumb!

 

[geosheets]

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oh, but the US EPA has spent billions of dollars measuring methane emissions from cattle... they account for 1/4 of the worldwide methane emissions
http://www.epa.gov/rlep/faq.html

I would however like to know how they measure these emissions? Is there a government official wandering behind grazing cattle with a 'fartometer'? I wonder if cows can take beano......

 

[K9Carrie]

I picked up two horses from a couple one time and they said it was a good thing I got there when I did because they had just given the horses the last "patty" of hay!!

 

[ebwy2]

one from years ago, while I was out for a walk with a friend...

friend: "ooh better not go that way, coz of the bulls"
me: "what bulls?"
friend: "there's loads of them"
me: "no, they're all cows"
friend "that one isn't"
me: "it is, it has udders."
friend: "it's a bull, coz it's got horns!"

wouldn't be so bad, but this friend grew up in the same village as me, a few minutes walk from the cows!

 

[SpringChickens]

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I think that's a regional thing. I had friends who always called flakes of hay "pats", like a pat of butter.

 

[Stacykins]

During a county fair where my cousin was showing her llamas and horses, I was "kid sitting" a baby goat their friend had won at an auction. The goat had just gotten done bottle feeding and fell asleep in my lap. Some woman wandered by where I was chilling by the llama pens and started gushing about how cute my dog was and asked what breed it was. I told her it was a rare hooved breed, but it didn't have AKC recognition yet.

 

[mame1616]

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