Funny and cute sayings. Please add to it!

[Andi]

Here's a few to get us going.

* Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
* I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.
* I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

 

[teach1rusl]

Okay...I'll add these:

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Bigamy : one husband too many. Monogamy : same thing.
Anywhere is walking distance, if you’ve got the time...

 

[hen-thusiast]

how about....

somedays I wake up grumpy, other days I let him sleep in

 

[gumpsgirl]

This is my all time favorite:

Cleaning the house while children are growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing...

How true that is!

 

[Mahonri]

Always be yourself because the people that matter, don't mind. And the ones that do mind don't matter.

 

[hen-thusiast]

Quote:
I like that one Mahonri. That's what I've been trying at work, but didn't have a way to say it.

 

[Andi]

Those are great!

 

[TheGoldenRoo]

Quote:
LOL Yup I'm sure it is!

 

[Whispering Winds]

Quote:
LOL Yup I'm sure it is!

I had a sign for years in my kitchen that said "raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken!"

 

[jojo54]

I have a number of fridge magnets with sayings. Some sexist but worth a smile even though we know they are not all true and need to be taken with a grain of salt.