Funny sayings and turn-of-phrase....

[dainerra]

Ok, I've read a few really good ones lately and I know you guys have to have some more.

From BYC I heard "nothing like a meal that comes with a free hat"

and just this morning I heard "knee-high to a grasshopper's butt" to describe a short person.

so what else ya got?

 

[canesisters]

"Great garden o'peas!" I've got a million of them.
Give me just a sec to knock my knoggin and I'll see if I can't bring a few to my remembrance.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I heard a great one recently...

All young people sow their wild oats, and then they come home and pray for crop failure.

 

[newfoundland]

Teacher to a petulant looking teenager, 'What's a matter with you?'

Teenager to teacher, 'Nothing'. (I'm sure we've all heard that one)

Teacher to teenager, 'Then tell your face!'

 

[galanie]

(person asks a nosy question)
"Why do you want to know, you writing a book?"
"Yes, I am!"
"Good, then kiss my tail and call it a love story!"

 

[1Teacherchick]

An ounce of pretention is worth a pound of manure.

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

"Fine as a frog hair split three ways" nice person or very pretty

"Putting my boots on" when someone is telling stories.

"Confederate Money" means trading or wanting to traid.

"bless your heart" southern insult.

"gotta see a man about a dog" have to do something private, usually needing to use the bathroom.

"Cold as a well diggers butt"

"Slick as owl poop on a hot tin roof"

"half past mosses" old

"aint a whistling Dixie" getting something done, meaning what you say or saying something meaningful...

I could go on all day with these.

 

[chickened]

Worthless as teets on a boar
Bald as a cucumber.
More chins than a chinese phonebook.
A farting horse will never tire, a farting man is the one to hire.

My wife's grandpa had a million of these sayings.

 

[galanie]

No good deed ever goes unpunished.

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

Sweating like a wort hog.

Close only counts with horseshoes an hangernaids.

beat you like a red headed step child

Slap me silly an call me sally

Dumb as a box o rocks

aint got the brains god gave a goldfish