- Jul 26, 2010
- 2,969
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No, you be careful, that's alright. I wouldn't have let her in either, unless I already knew her and her history and current condition really well, even then if I had children in the house I would want the visitor to be in a separate locked out area.
One of our mentally ill people encouraged one of the visiting kids to play with this big old trunk with a drop latch. He honestly had no idea it was dangerous, he wasn't trying to get the kid hurt at all, he just recalled playing in such a trunk, that's all. He just had absolutely no sense of what a safe toy was. But they don't realize sometimes what can happen with little kids. They aren't always trying to hurt anyone - mental illness very often means poor judgement.
Some homeless have years of alcoholism or street drugging too. Even years after they quit, they can exhibit poor judgement, sudden impulses, etc.
The most important thing is - many people who can't bear the shelters, are very, very mentally sick. They can get just as trapped and scared feeling in a house. Many of the long term homeless are in that state - in some cities, 'sidewalk survey's have indicated fully 95% of the 'chronically homeless' are suffering from severe mental illness. They get in a room with a door closed and they start getting very tense. It looks to them like everything is coming at them. One fellow I knew thoroughly enjoyed being invited in to a house for a meal, but within 30 minutes he was a wreck. He never quite put it together in his mind how that worked. That's another thing - mental illness can cause a lot of poor judgement and failure to see cause-and-effect.
The other thing you have to think of is that in some cities, a lot of homeless test positive for toxomplasmosis, or have bed bugs or lice in their clothes and hair. Not a few people may carry tuberculosis, hepatitis, other things. And most homeless in most cities, are very 'under-treated' for health problems. Some of the more severely mentally ill people can't even bear to sit in a doctor's office or go to a health care clinic. Too scary.
Since you're leaving this won't apply to you but it might to someone else.
If you have a homeless coalition in your area, they may hand out 'Street Cards'. These list all the homeless shelters in the area, emergency agencies, and they usually list women's shelters separately. Most urban places have a Mobile Crisis Unit or other transportation to take people to other shelters. Because the problems of the homeless women are so severe, often there are special services for them in big cities. They are at great risk on the street.
The woman might have been suffering from mental illness, and was afraid to stay at your front door for long. They often are fearful of even kind people and feel they need to keep moving. Sometimes that's all that saves them from the cold, that they keep walking. I have tried to give some of them bus or cab fare, but quite often they are too afraid to ride on a bus - taxis are worse - more closed in.
Some of them are too mentally ill to stay in the shelters. Even if the shelter has room, they can't stand being in such close quarters, and so they often don't even try to get into the shelter. For a lot of people the noise and activity and close quarters in the shelters make their symptoms worse. In any case, even for non-mentally ill, shelters are usually a pretty intimidating place. There is a lot of noise and the bathrooms are usually not safe places to be in. All of the people who stayed at our house, got really really tense and their symptoms really got bad when they tried to use the bathroom. Little bit of history there. If they're really sick the harsh lights and the acoustics on tile walls bother them, too.
But it's also possible she realized that most likely, she wouldn't have that blanket for long. Someone would beat her up for it pretty quick. Hopefully someone told her about a place she could go to. They look for abandoned buildings, subway tunnels, things like that. Of course you usually have to move a couple times a night, but getting up and moving sometimes saves your life. You can fall asleep and just not wake up.
Something that can be worn under an old coat might not be as noticeable, and they might be able to hang onto that for longer.
When I was working around those areas, I left a box at my desk at work, and anyone who had any old nice winter clothes would drop them off. I always had some good warm wool sweaters and things like that.
Of course that's the problem with shelters and with being outside. If you have any good coat, underclothes or boots you won't have them for long. As I said something concealed under your coat is best. You have to sleep with your boots on your feet or see if you can tie them to something while you sleep. Hopefully you feel it when someone tries to steal them - if you can't fight them off you're better off letting the theif take them, though.
Usually the mentally ill have it worse. First of all, schizophrenia and other diseases, you can't feel your feet and hands getting cold, literally, they can't feel the cold. But also they get beat up and things taken from them more, they are seen as an easy mark. Most of the mentally ill learn to hide their symptoms to try and prevent being victimized, but after they get past a certain point they have a hard time doing that for more than a few minutes. And on the street people have a lot of time to check you out.
One of our mentally ill people encouraged one of the visiting kids to play with this big old trunk with a drop latch. He honestly had no idea it was dangerous, he wasn't trying to get the kid hurt at all, he just recalled playing in such a trunk, that's all. He just had absolutely no sense of what a safe toy was. But they don't realize sometimes what can happen with little kids. They aren't always trying to hurt anyone - mental illness very often means poor judgement.
Some homeless have years of alcoholism or street drugging too. Even years after they quit, they can exhibit poor judgement, sudden impulses, etc.
The most important thing is - many people who can't bear the shelters, are very, very mentally sick. They can get just as trapped and scared feeling in a house. Many of the long term homeless are in that state - in some cities, 'sidewalk survey's have indicated fully 95% of the 'chronically homeless' are suffering from severe mental illness. They get in a room with a door closed and they start getting very tense. It looks to them like everything is coming at them. One fellow I knew thoroughly enjoyed being invited in to a house for a meal, but within 30 minutes he was a wreck. He never quite put it together in his mind how that worked. That's another thing - mental illness can cause a lot of poor judgement and failure to see cause-and-effect.
The other thing you have to think of is that in some cities, a lot of homeless test positive for toxomplasmosis, or have bed bugs or lice in their clothes and hair. Not a few people may carry tuberculosis, hepatitis, other things. And most homeless in most cities, are very 'under-treated' for health problems. Some of the more severely mentally ill people can't even bear to sit in a doctor's office or go to a health care clinic. Too scary.
Since you're leaving this won't apply to you but it might to someone else.
If you have a homeless coalition in your area, they may hand out 'Street Cards'. These list all the homeless shelters in the area, emergency agencies, and they usually list women's shelters separately. Most urban places have a Mobile Crisis Unit or other transportation to take people to other shelters. Because the problems of the homeless women are so severe, often there are special services for them in big cities. They are at great risk on the street.
The woman might have been suffering from mental illness, and was afraid to stay at your front door for long. They often are fearful of even kind people and feel they need to keep moving. Sometimes that's all that saves them from the cold, that they keep walking. I have tried to give some of them bus or cab fare, but quite often they are too afraid to ride on a bus - taxis are worse - more closed in.
Some of them are too mentally ill to stay in the shelters. Even if the shelter has room, they can't stand being in such close quarters, and so they often don't even try to get into the shelter. For a lot of people the noise and activity and close quarters in the shelters make their symptoms worse. In any case, even for non-mentally ill, shelters are usually a pretty intimidating place. There is a lot of noise and the bathrooms are usually not safe places to be in. All of the people who stayed at our house, got really really tense and their symptoms really got bad when they tried to use the bathroom. Little bit of history there. If they're really sick the harsh lights and the acoustics on tile walls bother them, too.
But it's also possible she realized that most likely, she wouldn't have that blanket for long. Someone would beat her up for it pretty quick. Hopefully someone told her about a place she could go to. They look for abandoned buildings, subway tunnels, things like that. Of course you usually have to move a couple times a night, but getting up and moving sometimes saves your life. You can fall asleep and just not wake up.
Something that can be worn under an old coat might not be as noticeable, and they might be able to hang onto that for longer.
When I was working around those areas, I left a box at my desk at work, and anyone who had any old nice winter clothes would drop them off. I always had some good warm wool sweaters and things like that.
Of course that's the problem with shelters and with being outside. If you have any good coat, underclothes or boots you won't have them for long. As I said something concealed under your coat is best. You have to sleep with your boots on your feet or see if you can tie them to something while you sleep. Hopefully you feel it when someone tries to steal them - if you can't fight them off you're better off letting the theif take them, though.
Usually the mentally ill have it worse. First of all, schizophrenia and other diseases, you can't feel your feet and hands getting cold, literally, they can't feel the cold. But also they get beat up and things taken from them more, they are seen as an easy mark. Most of the mentally ill learn to hide their symptoms to try and prevent being victimized, but after they get past a certain point they have a hard time doing that for more than a few minutes. And on the street people have a lot of time to check you out.
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