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Of course not! That wouldn't make any sense at all....um, excuse me a moment.
(Gladys, get out of there! You've already laid your egg today and it's Mathilda's turn on the nest.)
As I was saying, when humans talk to birds and other animals it usually.....
(what? She took your what?)
I'll be right back.
(Daphne, did you take Katrina's worm? Well, you can't give it back to her now - you ate it! Kat, go find another one, and Daphne, stay away from her until she's done.)
I'm sorry, I got distracted. Anyway, talking to animals can be indicative of social insecurity....
(Sigh. Now what? No, that is NOT your egg...your eggs are blue, Cora's are dark brown. And such pretty blue eggs they are, too. You're such a good girl and Mama Hen loves ya to death!)
...that can be addressed by, by......oh, hold on to that thought.
(Does her want a little snuggle? She's such a pretty baby girl, yes she is.....go stand over by the door and Mama will snuggle you as soon as she's done, otay?)
At any rate, I do not, nor have I ever, had cause to........
(NO! Not now! You girls cannot go out to play until Daddy gets home and can help me watch you. Do you want a stranger to come along and take you away from your nice little house and all of your sisters?)
...talk to my chickens. They are here for one reason and one reason only - to provide additional....
(That's IT, Agatha. I warned you earlier that you have a perfectly good dust bath tub out in the run and you are NOT to dust bathe in the PDZ on the poop deck. You just earned yourself a time out, girly girl!)
I give up.