Golden Laced Stupid

[Geira]

So I’ve read some stories about golden lace Wyandottes that said they were mean. That has not been my experience luckily. Mine are actually pretty friendly with one who will sit in my lap and let me pet her but this is not her story. Her sister, Bella, is my runt. She is as pretty as the name suggests but she is the chicken equivalent of the supermodel who can’t figure out how doors work. She likes to fly over the yard fence, a four and half foot cattle fence with barbed wire at the top and electric fencing on the outside designed to keep the predators out and the chickens in. She flies out, panics, runs the fence line screaming like the sky is falling. She’s athletic enough to clear a 4–6 ft fence on a whim, but once she’s on the wrong side she completely forgets she has wings and just sprints back and forth until a human rescues her. She’s also the last one in the run when I’m giving them a treat. They all go inside and she’s running back and forth on the backside of the run where there isn’t a door. She could be twice as smart and she’d still be stupid. Bella = the gorgeous, athletic, zero-object-permanence escape artist who will literally starve two feet from the treat door because “the wall is solid today.” She’s never going to win Chicken Jeopardy, but she’ll lay beautiful eggs and look stunning doing it and I get to have a first row seat to one of the best comedy routines in town with the occasional need to carry her back into the yard like I’m trying to earn the Heisman trophy.

 

[Debbie292d]

So funny! If you don't write books, you ought to try it as this was great!

 

[Callender Girl]

Loved the narrative about Bella! She may not be the brightest light on the string, but she's endlessly entertaining (that's the phrase I use to describe all my "problem" feathery critters).

Long live Comedy Queen Bella!

 

[Geira]

So funny! If you don't write books, you ought to try it as this was great!

Loved the narrative about Bella! She may not be the brightest light on the string, but she's endlessly entertaining (that's the phrase I use to describe all my "problem" feathery critters).

Long live Comedy Queen Bella!

I wouldn't say she a problem feathery critter. I would say her elevator is stuck between floors. She is endlessly entertaining though. My cat, Ollie, does not find her amusing at all. He's a pretty tabby who is extremely civilized with his white paws that look like gloves on the front and spatterdashes on the back, and a white ascot just to make him even more distinguished. He is the vision of a proper colonial officer. One of his pastimes is patrolling the yard and garden to keep out little pests like mice, voles, and yes, even snakes, which is one of the scarier things he will dispatch. My roosters, I have two, Nix and Fallon, are big black Australorps (hatchery improperly sexed them a whole other story), pay no mind whatsoever to Ollie. The GLW hens however will rush him and chase him straight up a tree. Guess who leads that charge? You guessed it-Bella. He was in the yard the other day, literally minding his own business, cleaning his paws, ignoring the chickens. Here comes Bella around the corner of the coop. He's laying casually on his side and is eye to eye, face to face with this chicken. He actually looks a little confused by how close she is and just sits there like,"Is this okay?" As I'm watching to see what happens next I hear an audible THWACK. Bella pecked him right on the forehead making him run for dear life with this little runt chasing after him. After he managed to get some distance, he looks back at this puffed up little hen and is like, "what did I do?"