Gone to the dogs

Discussion in 'Other Pets & Livestock' started by dainerra, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. dainerra

    dainerra Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 4, 2011
    There was a time, there really was,
    When I was sweet and tender;
    When SHOW DOG meant a Disney Star,
    and ***** was not a gender.
    I went to bed at half past ten;
    I went to Church on Sunday;
    On Saturday I baked the beans
    And did the wash on Monday.
    But then I got a certain pup,
    And an erstwhile friend said, "SHOW",
    And so I did and so I do,
    OH! What I didn't know.
    I used to dress with flair and style,
    That was the life, don't knock it.
    But now each dress from bed to ball
    Must have a good bait pocket.
    I used to have a certain air,
    I wallowed in perfume,
    I used to smell of Nuit D' Amour,
    Now I smell like Mr. Groom.
    My furniture was haut decor,
    My pets a tank of guppies.
    Now I've furniture unstuffed,
    And well-adjusted puppies.
    Once I spoke in pristine prose,
    In dulcet tones and frail,
    But now I'm using language,
    That would turn a sailor pale.
    I was taught to be well-groomed
    No matter where I went.
    Now all the grooming that I do
    Is in the Handler's tent.
    I used to long for furs and jewels
    And a figure classed as super,
    Now the thing I yearn for most
    Is a nice new Pooper-Scooper.
    I adored a man who murmured verse
    Through intimate little dinners,
    But now the words I thrill to hear,
    Are just three - "Best of Winners"
    I rise at dawn and pack the car
    The road ahead's a long one.
    The one I routed on the maps
    Invaribly's the wrong one.
    I really love this doggy life
    I wouldn't care to change it.
    But when I get that BEST IN SHOW.
    I plan to rearrange it;
    When my time on earth is done
    I'll go without much nudging
    Just give me three weeks closing date
    and let me know who's judging.
    Author Unknown​
    2 people like this.

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