Okay, getting back to stating the obvious as a "new & improved" product; Once, when looking at a new car I had one of those irritating salesmen who just keeps blathering on and on. I decided to have a little fun with him when he started reading off the list of "options":
- "It has a Super Whizzbang V8." "What? It has a MOTOR. Amazing! What won't they think up next?"
- coulda been a V6 or V10 or a 7.3 L diesel details are important
- "It has power disk brakes." "It has BRAKES? That's so I can stop it, right? What a GREAT idea."
- could have been drum brakes...if they weren't power than you would have no ABS so that is important
- "It has power steering." "And I can steer it myself? Well, that will be convenient, won't it?"
- Ever driven w/o power steering it takes some serious biceps
- "Aluminum wheels." "Wheels? It has wheels? That will make it roll better, huh?"
- They are lighter, look nice, and you never loose a hub cap after hitting a pot hole
- "Corinthian Leather seats." "So we get to sit when we ride in it? That'll be nice."
Could've been cloth, or goat , cow, or buffalo leather
- "Power Windows." "It has windows and they open AND close? That'll be useful on a hot day, don't ya think?"
They still make them manual and I guess sense you irritated the salesman before he got to A/C you may need those windows.
He did finally get the idea and shut up. Yes, the above exchange really did take place. I wish I could take full credit for the idea, but my inspiration came from a movie,
The Yellow Rolls Royce. Not a great movie, but the opening scenes have always stuck with me.
First we see the Rolls on the transporter being moved to the dealership through the streets of London. Next, it's sitting on the showroom floor and "His Lordship" is looking it over. He gets into the passenger compartment, (it's a 1930 limo) looks at the decanter and makes a face, squirms about on the seat a bit. It's obvious that he has already decided to buy, once a few minor annoyances are corrected.
At this point a young assistant salesman shows up and Lord whatever starts to list the things than must be corrected before the car will be acceptable as a gift for "Her Ladyship." The young man, not realizing the sale is made starts talking about the "marvelous new 6 cylinder motor." His lordship is obviously not interested, but the young man persists, even going so far as to offer to show it to him. The Lords patience is finally stretched to the limit leading to this exchange:
I've always loved that bit of British understatement.