Grief Support?

[Sequin]

Oh no. I am so sorry!!!!

Death is never easy, especially, particularly when it is family and so close to our heart.

Like many on here, I too have had my share of losses - both human and pet. Each one carries its own sad pain. But I allow myself the time to grieve. And that seems to help heal the sorrow a bit. Then I try to remember the wonderful things I loved about that one, and soon smiles of the memories start to fill in where the tears once were so persistent. I do not try to stop thinking of the loved one, but rather enjoy visiting with them by remembering them.

I have never thought of 'replacing' one of my pets, but being in a certain routine of hearing their barking or filling the food and water dish each day - I personally need that part of the void to be filled. And so, I bring another into the home. There are many pets and animals out there that need good loving homes. And my heart wants to love and care for them all. But I can't. So, I do what I can and that cheers me. Knowing I can make a difference in a life. They bring me a blessing and a joy in the care I can provide for them and the love/affection they unselfishly return. Maybe this isn't the way for everyone, but it works for me.

Take care of yourself, and get some rest too!!!

 

[specklesmom]

Thank you all so very, very much. I know all the logical answers--we should think how lucky we were to have had five wonderful years with our sweet Speckles, remember all the funny things she did and how we laughed at her tricks, be grateful that she wasn't sick until the end, know that we found an exceptional vet who was experienced with pet chickens and gave her every possible chance to recover. But, right now, I just can't think of her without feeling so sad and depressed as if a big weight is pushing down on my chest. I keep remembering having to make the decision to let the vet euthanize her and feeling so bad for not being able to fix everything so that she would be happy and healthy again. I know this loss is nothing compared to the pain so many people are dealing with and that it will get better in time. I know I should get busy with something else or try to do something different as a distraction, but I just don't have the energy right now. I do appreciate everyone's kind words and caring thoughts.

 

[bawkbawkbawk]

You poor dear! As sad as you are, your words are an inspiration. I'm happy to know that I can be as attached to chickens as I am my dogs and cats. I adore all my pets, but my month-old chickens rouse a kind of peaceful, soothing feeling that's different from any of the other animals. I don't have the words to describe it, but I like to stand and watch my four girls as they settle in for a nap and listen to the little sounds they make - they're so social, so vulnerable, silly and sweet.

The loss you feel is real and raw and no, you'll never be able to replace her, but I'll say that each time we've lost a beloved pet, the ache definitely lessens when a new puppy or kitten joins the family. I hope you'll soon have another hen to keep you company and "train" your husband.

 

[Sequin]

Oh dear, I so feel your pain. It's ok to cry and feel so sad. Take your time to heal, no one is saying you have to be back to smiles and joy right away.

Speckles was an important and loved part of your life. That isn't something you just walk away from and move on. Just know that we feel for you and hurt with you. If you want to spend the day on the couch with a box of kleenex then do that. Or Hagen dass(sp?) ice cream, sometimes that helps too. Take care of yourself, and take it easy for a while. It's alright to do that.

 

[AnnieOakley379]

Sorry about your loss.

Like the others said, you don't replace one pet with another, but each one brings you joy in their own unique way. Maybe someday you'll be ready to add another to your home.

 

[astylishgirl]

Your story made me so sad. I could see all of the activities that described as clearly as if I was there. I could see how sweet your Speckles was. And also, I could see how incredibly kind you and your husband are. You will never forget her and she will always hold a special place in your heart.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to be kind. Take a warm bath, lose yourself in a book, eat something special, talk walks. Especially take walks or do some form of oversize. I like walks because they are like meditation.

Someday you may feel ready to have another pet. You will know if and when the time is right.