Guilt and sadness first cull

[crazychick87]

Last night I decided the kindest thing to do would be to cull our sick hen. She had water belly, by the end of the day she could barely move, stood like a penguin with her face to the wall. It was awful seeing her decline.
I used the broomstick method, it was heartbreaking. I thought doing it at night would be nicer on her as they’re so docile.
She flapped like crazy for about 20 seconds then stopped, I picked her up but she was still breathing so I quickly did it again much harder and she stopped breathing and her eyes closed.
It may seem stupid but I can’t stop crying. I keep telling myself I did the right thing for her but I just can’t stop. I feel so guilty, she trusted me and I killed her will it ever pass? Because as it stands I’m an absolute wreck and I’m looking at giving away our others because I couldn’t bare having this again.

 

[PippinTheChicken]

You did the right thing for her. It might be hard to realise it now but you ended her suffering and did what was necessary. I've never culled a chicken before so I don't know exactly how you're feeling.

 

[Isadora]

Last night I decided the kindest thing to do would be to cull our sick hen. She had water belly, by the end of the day she could barely move, stood like a penguin with her face to the wall. It was awful seeing her decline.
I used the broomstick method, it was heartbreaking. I thought doing it at night would be nicer on her as they’re so docile.
She flapped like crazy for about 20 seconds then stopped, I picked her up but she was still breathing so I quickly did it again much harder and she stopped breathing and her eyes closed.
It may seem stupid but I can’t stop crying. I keep telling myself I did the right thing for her but I just can’t stop. I feel so guilty, she trusted me and I killed her will it ever pass? Because as it stands I’m an absolute wreck and I’m looking at giving away our others because I couldn’t bare having this again.

It may not feel like it in this moment because it's still very fresh, but what you did was very kind rather than having her suffer. Please don't give away your others just yet. Give yourself some time. The good chicken keepers are the ones that make the hard decisions that are best for their flock.

 

[Karm]

Last night I decided the kindest thing to do would be to cull our sick hen. She had water belly, by the end of the day she could barely move, stood like a penguin with her face to the wall. It was awful seeing her decline.
I used the broomstick method, it was heartbreaking. I thought doing it at night would be nicer on her as they’re so docile.
She flapped like crazy for about 20 seconds then stopped, I picked her up but she was still breathing so I quickly did it again much harder and she stopped breathing and her eyes closed.
It may seem stupid but I can’t stop crying. I keep telling myself I did the right thing for her but I just can’t stop. I feel so guilty, she trusted me and I killed her will it ever pass? Because as it stands I’m an absolute wreck and I’m looking at giving away our others because I couldn’t bare having this again.

I’m sorry for your loss. You’re right this is the hardest thing to do but you did what was needed because she was suffering. Please just be kind to yourself and give it a little time as was said above.

 

[Banana01]

Hi. I am sure you feel better already, the sadness goes away. I would offer that maybe you feel this way because maybe you feel like you wished you had the time or could have nursed her through the sickness. But your peace of mind is important. If you want another painless killing method, try a large knife and a hammer. Instead of a broomstick, put the knife to the back of her head and hit the knife with the hammer. It's like a guillotine. I never could do the broomstick.

 

[swampfox440]

Last night I decided the kindest thing to do would be to cull our sick hen. She had water belly, by the end of the day she could barely move, stood like a penguin with her face to the wall. It was awful seeing her decline.
I used the broomstick method, it was heartbreaking. I thought doing it at night would be nicer on her as they’re so docile.
She flapped like crazy for about 20 seconds then stopped, I picked her up but she was still breathing so I quickly did it again much harder and she stopped breathing and her eyes closed.
It may seem stupid but I can’t stop crying. I keep telling myself I did the right thing for her but I just can’t stop. I feel so guilty, she trusted me and I killed her will it ever pass? Because as it stands I’m an absolute wreck and I’m looking at giving away our others because I couldn’t bare having this again.

Sometimes we have to make hard decisions . We have to be strong I have to pray to be forgiven when I have to do something like this , The praying works fine for me . God bless and wish you well .

 

[aart]

It's the hardest, but best, decision a chickeneer will have to make.
It's never easy to kill, the first time is especially hard.
Ending a creatures suffering is not wrong.

 

[sourland]

It's the hardest, but best, decision a chickeneer will have to make.
It's never easy to kill, the first time is especially hard.
Ending a creatures suffering is not wrong.

It is our responsibility as caretakers to ease pain and suffering that can not be alleviated. You did the right thing.

 

[RubelliteRose]

I am so sorry for your loss. It was a very hard decision, but you did the right thing. I've only had to cull a chick myself, but i have had to make the decision to have my vet euthanize 3 of my dogs in the past. Please know that the tears will eventually stop and the feelings of guilt will fade. It will just take time. Don't make any decisions about your other chickens for at least a week. Allow yourself some time before making the decision to re-home them

 

[3KillerBs]

When the time comes this is the right decision.

I have found with the broomstick method that the stronger the flapping the cleaner the kill was. But when I have a miss I can be assured that the bird is, at least, stunned and unaware of the rest of the process.

There is a good chance that the breathing you observed after the flapping was just the muscles of the respiratory system reacting as the nerves fired off one last time. Nevertheless, trying again was the right thing to do.

But it shouldn't be easy to end a life.