Handicaped Siblings Suport Thread

[Jedichickens]

For those who have brothers or sisters with CP,ADD, Are blind, Deaf, Mute, Cant walk,
And any other handicap. Or even if you yourself are . This is your support thread.

I have a sister, Miranda, Who has CP. She has the mind of a 2 year old, Ability of a 6 Month old, And Body of an 11 year old. When she was Born, Or really taken out, She had half a brain. HALF A BRAIN! But, By the grace of God, She grew it back. PEOPLE DONT JUST GROW BRAINS, Ya know? Aint that awesome. Life isnt to tough, But i recently broke down in tears to my mom when i finally let out all the anger from all the people who look at her like she just came out of a spaceship and came out. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!

My Mom suggested i talk to other people who have handicaped siblings, so i started this thread.
Rant, Encorage, Build up, Share expirences, And Discuss.

I Just hate it when people bend their heads ( Mostly kids) To look at her, and look so dang confused when we wheel her by. Shes a great girl, she goes to a school for Handicaped people, Ages 3-20, And she is just a part of my family's lives. But it makes me mad when people do that. Anyone have the same problem?

 

[eenie114]

I have siblings on the Autism spectrum, and one sister with serious ADD/ADHD. Getting that child to sit still is a full-time job, as she is usually too busy running around playing with her fairy friends.

We get some weird looks because of her all the time. But hey, I love her anyways.

 

[Jedichickens]

I know, but its just doesnt it make you angry when people give you crazy looks?

 

[ebwy2]

I am the disabled sibling... my brother hasn't really been around me since it happened much, but I don't think he even thinks about how it affects my daily life.

 

[Jedichickens]

Wow. How could i be such a blockhead. I forgot about the actual handicaped people. Well, I suppose I'll add that in.

 

[HowdyB]

I wish I could say something that might ease your pains. My middle son, with autism, can unfortunately not only be the one who gets the looks and stares( boy, do I know exactly how you feel, anger and all) but is also one who stares and says things that can be hurtful, too. Just today he said, about 6 feet from him, "Mom, look, that man only has one arm". A couple of months ago he asked a woman why she was sooooooooo fat. Luckily, both people were very polite back to him. I've always been very nice back to people or at the very least stop and stare back at them and that usually stops (especially the kids) people from the "looks". I've been dealing with it for about 7 years now and although it was more hurtful in the beginning I'm more callused now and not as bothered by it. Have you ever said anything back to people? Just wondering if it made you feel better and if so, do you have any good ones? lol. My oldest son is 9 and doesn't deal very well with his brother's autism. I am going to try and get him together with other siblings who are a bit different. Even if it is on the computer.

 

[eenie114]

I know, but its just doesnt it make you angry when people give you crazy looks?

Actually, I don't think I've ever really been angry. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've been embarrassed by their public behavior many times. But never really gotten angry at the people who don't get it. All I've really done is wish they did.

 

[Jedichickens]

To the both of you,
The best thing that happened in public was when a girl, About 7 or 8, Passed by in Wal-Mart and Saw my sister. My sister did her Ear-To-ear-let-me-squeeze-your-brain-out-because-i-really-really-like-you Smile. She, The girl, then looked at her Mom and said, " oooo! Mama, Can I get a big stroller?"
And that made me happy. I feel better when people ask " Whats Wrong With Her?" And not just look. But shes a people-person. She will hug you like the dickens. Once, When we were in Books-A-Million, She just grabbed a lady and hugged her like she just gave her a million bucks.

And Eenie144, Im embarresed too. But i, er, Get angry for stuff i really care about. but it only comes out as a frown, A Sigh, A Teeny grunt, Or a super bitten lip.

and to HowdyB, I Dont really stare them back... I should

 

[newfoundland]

Although i am probably, or surely, old enough to be your grandma, i have worked with children with disabilities, all my working life. Where I come from the term handicapped, is very frowned upon and we always say children/people with disibilities, because, they are a child/person first and foremost. I have always been lucky enough to work with children who have been fully integrated into their local school, and I think this is the biggest single reason that staring at someone in a wheelchair, for example, does not happen anymore. My youngest children, of 27 and 30, both attended school with children who had disabilities, and therefore are perfectly familiar with wheelchairs, hoists, walking frames, signing and braille for example. People stare at what is unfamiliar to them and the more people who happen to have disabilities go out into the world, the more others will see and understand. Be proud of your brother/sister, and be very proud of yourself because every time you take your brother/sister out into the world, you are educating someone. Lord knows this world can use all the insight it can get!

Very soon it is the olympic games and of course the paralympics. This is a time when the people who have disabilities and yet overcome them to be olympians really shine and raise the profile of everyone with disabilities. Be proud to cheer your countrymen/women on!!!

 

[justbugged]

So I have a question, What is the difference between saying a person is disabled or handicapped? I understand the current social/politically correct part, just not a true difference. A person is not a handicap or a disability. I am currently disabled. I haven't always been clearly disabled, so I was able and now I am not.

I also had a daughter the died just short of her first year, who was profoundly hadicapped/disabled. I spent a good deal of that year explaining to people what was wrong, even though there wasn't, and there is still no name for what happened to her. (Her brain disintegrated in just over a year.) I was hurt the most by people that were ignorant enough to think that they could catch it from us somehow.

There isn't any fool proof ways for coping with the rude stares, and or comments, all the time. Having a quick, snappy and or a snarky come back can help, but being prepared to teach is the best defense has been the best coping skill that I have yet to come up with. Teaching others about a siblings differences will teach you things that most people never learn to do.

I would only use a snarky come back, if the other 2 comments weren't acknowledged first. The facts are is that some people a simply rude, and defending oneself is often the best thing a person can do.