Having a 'Blue' Day (warning - huge downer, don't read, just venting all this crap)

[Blondiechic]

Is there a herbal vet you can contact for your horse treatment? They are amazing...or perhaps bowen treatment? I understand where you are as one of my horses is getting there and every winter we hold our breath. With your flatmate, I have had a couple of total nutters and for some odd reason put up with them. Get rid of her and invite someone who is nice into your life and home to replace her. They are out there. I also had the best flatmate ever, we are like brother and sister and he restored so much faith.
I am not sure what DH stands for but you need to let your close friends know how you feel. Communication changes e everything.
Hope today is better for you x

 

[trickyphish]

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The Courage to change the things I can;
and the Wisdom to know the difference!

Use it like a Tool! Dissect the scenario; make some choices & keep moving!

It only has to work for today! Tomorrow will bring new challenges.

 

[canesisters]

It's complicated. She's in a weird situation and needs a cheap place to live - I need a little help meeting the mortgage every month.
She's not as scary as it sounded, just really, really hard to live with. She does all these little things that sometimes just make my eyes cross. And when I loose it and call her on something she says, "I'm sorry, I don't even know I'm doing that." Which usually gets a "Well you darn well better figure it out cause it's driving me nuts." Like scooping something out of a dish and having to bang the spoon on the edge 20+ times to get it all off the spoon. Or ya know how when you get a new trash bag you sort of whip it to get it open? She'll do that 10 times or more. It sounds like she's trying to take flight. Lots of those OCD things.
Then there are the just plain nosy things. Like giving me a list of what came in the mail, "You got a letter from your SIL, and the DISH bill came, and something from the county but I don't know what that was.." Or if I go the the far end of the house to talk on the phone she will suddenly have several things that require her to come down there: need to pick up her shoes from beside the door (and then put them back), have to come through to go out and check the seed in the bird feeder, stuff like that. I've even caught her turning down the TV volume in the den so she can hear what I'm doing in the living room (didn't want it to disturb me while I was on the phone..). I tried taking the phone in my bathroom and she suddenly has to scoop the litter box (right outside the door) and for some reason it will take 10 mins or longer to do it. All things that are easy to explain - perfectly reasonable - not being nosy....
If I put an end to one thing, another will pop up a few days later. It really does feel like she is trying to drive me nuts.

 

[bluesub]

I still think it might be time to find a new roommate. I'm sure it's hard because you didn't choose to live with her (like your husband), so those annoying traits can be REALLY annoying. How long has she been living with you? Maybe it's time for you (and her) to move on. I understand helping someone out, but there comes a point when it's not worth it for your sanity.

 

[cassie]

You can't deal with everything at once. But you can deal with things one at a time, and there are some things that, for whatever reason, cannot be fixed. Your roommate is not one of them. Evict her. You can get another roommate, and even if you can't, if this one is causing you problems get rid of her. Now. Whatever money sheis contributing just isn't worth it.

If she is having serious mental issues, you are not in a position to help her.

 

[sourland]

Your Dad is your Dad - take him as he is and be thankful for his existence. We didn't get a manual when we fathered kids and if he is from my era 'fathering' was far diffrent from what it is today. I missed the connection with my father - in my 30's I told him, "I love you Dad'. His response - a single tear rolling down his cheek. He was unable culturally or whatever to give more than that. I did a better job with my children (Better - not Perfect), and my son and SIL are doing better than I did.

I agree with bluesub - get rid of the roommate! As for your beloved horse. Weigh quality of life against 'life'. If you can see that you are doing things more for yourself than for the horse - well, you know what the decision should be. Euthanisation is the hardest thing we as caretakers are responsible for deciding.

It sounds as if today is a better day, and for that I am happy for you.

 

[Blondiechic]

Well...its ultimately not your problem if she needs somewhere cheaper to live...I have been there too with two of my past flatmates and you will be astonished at what they can afford when they aren't relying on you!
And the change in your house and atmosphere when they are gone is liberating....trust me!!! Then you can get someone in who is fun and good company and everything will be easier to handle.
With your horse, I around advocate a herbal vet, we have a sensational one in Australia and owe extended life and life of so many of our animals to him. If you let me know where you are I can ask him if there is one who can assist you? Or you can email mine for an assessment, they do that for free...
But dump the flatmate and start a happy phase of your life. It's hard to do but so very very worth it!

 

[EweSheep]

Dump the room mate, she does not have to make your life a living hell.

I agree with Sourland, weigh the life vs suffering. Does it make you feel better or would the horse be better off put to sleep? No need to prelong her suffering. It wont hurt to try herbal vets but if you don't find one, and the horse's quality of life is diminished, you will know it is time to let her go.

 

[THE Curmudgeon]

WHY be "NORMAL".....???
( Follow HER around all day...!!! and just Giggle !!! )

She'll move.

THE Curmudgeon

 

[KristyHall]