Help dealing with death of a duckling

[BigBlueHen53]

. Lots and lots of !

We are not really supposed to "get over it," I don't think. Death is indeed a part of this life, but it was never meant to be. It's an enemy. It just hurts so much, and it's ... well ... so unnatural. So ... the opposite of life and joy.

I believe in a life after this one, one in which we will be reunited with some or all of our special animal friends and will get to enjoy their companionship forever, free from pain, fear, harm, guilt or regret. I'm very much looking forward to spending time (or rather, eternity!) with a couple of amazing horses, several awesome dogs, at least three beautiful parakeets, a couple of charming and funny goldfish and a few delightful cats! I'm sure your little duck will be happy to see you, too, and all will be well. Comfort yourself with that thought, and try not to be too hard on yourself. You did the best you could and meant no harm. If this had happened to a friend of yours, wouldn't you advise him or her to be compassionate with him/herself? You deserve no less. I wish you peace.

 

[mountainchickens]

So sorry for your loss. It is hard to deal with something like this, but it will get better over time. You are a very caring person to love your little ones so much, and they will have a very good home with you. It will get better. Be compassionate with yourself, your little girl had a good life. We've lost some chicks and we knew that they'd had a happy life and we'd loved them and they were okay. It is hard for a few days, even a few weeks, but it will get better. All the best for you and your flock, I know you will love them and take very good care of them. You gave little Angel a good life.

 

[Mixed flock enthusiast]

I’m so sorry for your loss and for all of the other sad losses that others have described! It’s so hard to lose a pet, and to have physically hurt that animal, even totally by accident, is going to increase the pain. I’ll just echo what others have said, that your duckling’s death was completely by accident, that you gave her the best life possible, and that you treat your remaining babies as well as you can. Accidents happen, and they are hard to foresee and prevent.

 

[tpatricco]

I'm so sorry. Big hugs.

 

[pizzaduck]

I feel so touched by all of your kind words and your stories. You've made me feel less alone in this grief. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to share your experiences with me; I read them with my mom and we cried together over your lost babies and mine.

I want to do some research and see if it's okay to introduce a couple of new ducklings around the same age in with mine, and if so, adopt one or two who are in need of a home. I can never replace her or get her back, but I have a lot of extra love (and peas). Shouldn't let that go to waste.

Thank you again. I really needed it.

 

[Dees ducks]

Oh my darling......my heart goes out to you. Try to let it go, you sound like a wonderfull duck Mum and blaming yourself will drive you nuts or completely paranoid around the other duckies! It was a freak, unexplained accident that could happen to anyone. And yes, get more ducks, they'll have a lovely home with buddies and peas galore! Best wishes for the future.

 

[Vondennise]

Hello,

I have 3 ducklings that I hatched just under two weeks ago. I did my best with them, giving them good food, clean fresh bedding twice a day, they'd nap on me and I'd take them out on warm sunny days. They would play and swim and try and catch bugs or dandelions...And I was momma to them so they always followed me around. I love them immensely.

Yesterday, my worst nightmare happened. I was tired but it was so nice outside and I wanted them to have some playtime, so I did what I usually do; March the duckies out with a handful of lettuce and a few peas and a board to chop it on. I sat and started chopping, they were playing in the little tupperware containers filled with water that I had put out, and I sprinkled some lettuce on top and hand fed the chopped peas. I went to put the knife and cutting board down on a stump and as I was leaning and looking at where I was placing it, one of my ducklings, Angel, ran under my foot and I stepped on her.

She squealed, I screamed, she started wobbling and blood was dribbling out her mouth. I picked her up and I held her and within a few seconds she had died. I rushed and put my two other ducklings in their brooder and went to a pet hospital nearby but the Doctor just confirmed she was gone.

I was so careful. I'd had a few instances where they'd bump into my foot even while watching closely and I'd panic and feel such relief seeing they were okay. But yesterday I was wearing clunky sandals, and even though I tried to make an effort to watch every step, it took me looking away from my feet for a second to carefully place something down for this horrible accident to happen.

I'm so broken hearted and feeling intense guilt and shame and horror and anger with myself. I wish one second of the day went differently; one second would have been enough for things to have changed. I'm trying to reason with myself and my family and friends are being incredibly supportive but I keep replaying the scene in my head, and how I was so worried about that happening and I didn't shuffle my feet but I should have...Right now, I hate myself.

I've been spending a lot of time with my two I still have. They are fine, still cuddling with each other and with me, enjoying the tub with shallow water and enjoying the lettuce and the peas and the kisses. In my guilt and feeling like I need to do something, I searched up some duck sanctuaries and I found a local wildlife rehab that does wonderful work so I sponsored 3 mallard duckies. I don't want to eat meat anymore after this, knowing how it feels to have directly took a life, I don't think I can stomach it. I felt so much love and wanted to give them the best duck life I could but in doing so I lost my Angel.

I am very new to this, I haven't had to deal with loss that was a result of my own action before. In the past when my kitten was sick and ended up having to be put down, I felt guilty wondering if I should've had her checked out sooner, or if I had administered her medicine properly, or if I put her down too early. That haunted me for a long time. But my duck was ripped from me in an instant from my own self going into autopilot mode for a second. I don't know how to forgive myself. I feel like I'm not allowed.

If anyone else has lost a loved duck or other animal, would you be able to share how you coped? I could really use it.

Here was angel a couple days ago.

View attachment 1801511

edit: I'm sitting here bawling and my two ducklings came out from their brooder and are looking up at me with the most quizzical expression. They melt my heart

Its 11:13 pm. Oct 25 2020.
I have been crying non stop all day since early this morning. This morning I baby duck I found lost died from cold. I live in Miami and I found a lost baby duck after the presidential debate. I brought him inside and gave him food and water. He was only with me 2 days. But those two days I fell in complete love with him. He got very attached to me. He would love to be crawled in my neck. He would stop crying when I would hold him in my neck. I was with him every second these 2 days. Last night, he was sleeping on my chest as I lay down. It was around 12:30 am, so i went to go to sleep. I got up and when he felt me move he cried a little. I put him in his box and covered the box with 2 hoodies and left a small opening for air to come in. I had a hoodie inside for him to sleep in also. He fell asleep. About 30 min later, he started crying, like the first night, but this time he was crying for about an hour non stop. I thought he might be crying because he got used to me carrying him. But at the same time I had a feeling he was cold. It was a nagging feeling. It was my intuition. I tossed and turned because he was crying. I kept thinking .. should I carry him??? Bit I didn't want him to be on the bed in case I squashed him. I sleep with my yorkie and my boyfriend. I felt so bad hearing him crying, but I justified it by thinking I might get him used to only being carried and held by me. I layed one foot away from him while he cried and cried for me. I woke up this morning and he was dead. I loved him like if he had been with me for years. I promised him I would love him and give him the best life I could. I also bought him food online while he was crying. The guilt I feel is almost indescribable. Like you, I keep replaying last night over and over and over. If only I would have picked him up. I let him die cold and alone. I cant take the pain of ignoring his cry. Why didnt I get up? I was arm length away.