Homeschooling groups rant. Very frustrated

HeatherLynn

Crowing
12 Years
May 11, 2009
2,045
41
284
Kentucky, Cecilia
Ok maybe we are just not normal but I am having a heck of a time finding homeschoolers that we have anything in common with other than we homeschool. Ok so I am Christian but I do teach a lot of secular stuff. So right along with the theory of evolution ( I still say theory because its not been proven, yes I know so not correct anymore) right along side of intellegent design. I have a secular math and history books too. I do teach my children religion but I tend to do it my way. There is part of the problem I think.

So I am in a secular group which we just cannot seem to get into the activities with. We met everyone and got along fine but the kids just were not really interested in anything. They want to be more social but the one family they really liked and we did stuff went turned out to be slightly loony and they were totally turned off. This is a secular group which was fine. I also checked into a christian group but you have to sign a testament of faith. Almost like a contract to believe a certain way. You can tell from that last sentence how I felt about it. It just plain feels wrong to me. They have tons of activities, Coop classes. Just the works. Everythimg the kids are asking for but I cannot sign that contract. My faith is mine and it not answerable to a contract put forth by anyone. I just can't get past it. I feel so selfish but i feel so strongly about it too.

So I check another Christian group. Everyone is in super long skirts with their hair covered. Now, don't get me wrong, thats fine for them but I kinda doubt they would take my curly hair out in the breeze, jean wearing little self all that well. Past experience says its not going to happen.

There is a coop an hour away where the kids can get 2.5 hours a week for 3 months at a cost of 305. Granted that for 3 kiddies. Thats 2 classes and lunch and then I need to volunteer an hour doing some chore for the group. Seems like the best offer so far. Not sure how we will afford but I will figuere that out later.

My big complaint is we can find no one who has anyone in common with our family. Its frustrating. The kids suggested going to public school to make friends and then coming home so I can teach them. Pretty sure they are not understanding how this all works. So I am a Christian homeschooler who is not afraid of secular curriculum and who teaches topics that are not commonly accepted by many other christian homeschoolers or parents for that matter. I don't wear jumpers of any kind. I just bought my first long denim skirt and its skin tight so pretty sure that doesn't count either. I wear jeans 9 times out of 10. I am most comfortable out in the woods with the kids and do not enjoy any of those happy homemaker activities that seem so popular. All I am looking for are other weird non traditional Christian families who happen to have a really open schedule because they picked a different way of educating their kids like we did. Is that really so much to ask.

Btw the answer is yes. I guess i will deal with it another day. Tonight I am too frustrated to research this problem anymore.
 

Robin'sBrood

Crowing
12 Years
May 8, 2008
6,654
160
386
North Carolina
Too bad we live so far away from one another, I think we'd fit what you're looking for.
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Also, I feel your frustration with trying to find a co-op to connect with. My experience with one last year was far less than pleasing...
 

KristyHall

Crowing
8 Years
Jan 27, 2011
5,047
190
288
North Alabama
That stinks! You sound like a mother who really care about her family and their education. I hope you find what you are looking for. Maybe you can find someone to volunteer with, or maybe even an after school group that might have some kids from the public school system but are still under your and other parents watchful eye to ensure non of the problems that come with public schools? ( I am not bashing public schools!) Try local powwows. It might sound weird but I grew up on the powwow trail and powwows tend to be very family oriented. Many kids raised on the trail are home schooled. Plus your kids will get to learn about different Native cultures since Natives from all over the country (and sometimes from other countries) follow the trail. Not as much as it use to be though since the economy has tanked and many people depended on tourist money to fund the trail.
 

NancyP

Songster
10 Years
Mar 28, 2009
918
3
139
Bonifay,Florida
I would look into things like sports, art classes, dance, music, etc in your community that are not home school related. We have found lots to keep our son busy.
 

WriterofWords

Has Fainting Chickens
13 Years
Dec 25, 2007
13,212
73
406
Chaparral, New Mexico
It's really hard sometimes. When I home schooled Steven there were no groups around here that did that except for one in El Paso and they were more interested in recruiting for the church most of them went to. I took him to museums, signed him up for art classes, tried to enroll him him sports and things, the ones that are open to the public etc. I had a lot of trouble because quite a few people didn't like the idea that I was a teacher,,, I taught at school during the day and Steven did a lot of lesson in the evenings or while with his grandparents during the day. Check your City Park Service for lists of parks that have soccer, football, baseball, volleyball, or other organized sports at them. I found a lot of fellow home schoolers in those places, also in Scouting which is how I ended up a Cub Scout leader. The most important thing though, in my own opinion, is to not sacrifice how you feel you should instruct your child. Don't let the pressure of some of these groups get to you.
 

PotterWatch

My Patronus is a Chicken
11 Years
Apr 22, 2008
5,470
38
288
Virginia
I understand your frustration. It took us a while to find a group that worked well for us. There aren't too many reform Jewish unschoolers out there so a secular, inclusive group is our only option. Even if I could find a Jewish group to join, I don't think I would be comfortable signing a contract. We have two groups now that we really like and my boys have lots of friends they see on a regular basis. We tried a co-op a couple years ago, but it just didn't seem to fit our needs so we aren't doing anything like that anymore. Keep asking around, you may still find a group you like. Keep going to the one secular group for a while longer, maybe after a while it will click a little better. I'm sure you already have, but check out any state-based groups that have lists of local playgroups. Hope you are able to find something!
 

ChickensAreSweet

Heavenly Grains for Hens
9 Years
Jun 8, 2010
15,100
706
398
Pacific NW- where the Douglas Firs grow
I homeschooled my oldest son for 6 years, and my youngest for 3 years. They are now in public school because of various reasons (and against my will I might add). I also had trouble finding groups that didn't make me feel uncomfortable.

I still might be able to take them out and homeschool again one day.

But I just wanted you to know that I hear ya!!!!
 

silkiechicken

Staff PhD
Premium Feather Member
12 Years
13 Years
Jan 25, 2007
21,494
1,083
393
Everett WA/Corvallis OR
Quote:
Why not let them go to public school, then teach them everything you want them to know after school? That's pretty much what my parents did. About the only thing I learned at school was how to interact with all different kinds of people, from those who lived in the gated communities, to those who had 8 siblings in a 40 foot trailer... not much content other than social as I was ahead of everyone my level b/c of at home home work.
 

Momagain1

Songster
8 Years
Feb 13, 2011
1,984
13
151
Central IL
WOW! I could have wrote that!

I have four children;

Brittany 20 -- whom I should have pulled from school and homeschooled; but I failed her and she is now 20, shacking up w/others and not having a job etc..and no goals in life and no apparent care in the world..
btw-- she gets kicked out tomorrow (monday) of the place she's at if she doesnt have a job and as of friday she didnt..she'll be homeless... (please dont ask why we dont let her here...its a huge huge issue)..

Jeron, he just turned 13 and this is the first yr we are HS'ing him. he was phsyically beat up by students and emotionally beat up by teachers too..one teacher told me IN FRONT OF HIM; he was a waste of air/space in
her classroom..yep..not good..
he also had severe anxiety for going to school (um..who wouldnt??), they were dumbing him down and he just gave up..started getting d + f's..lovely..he was crying and went straight to bed when he would come home from school...so we pulled him.
We LOVE mystery of History curriculum for history. LOVE IT! It is religious based w/secular mixed in..it is wonderful!!! I highly recommend you check it out!!
However; I struggle w/other areas of curriculum; we have a math cd-rom program which is fantastic! (teaching textbooks), we have rosetta stone spanish, we have spelling papers, which I have double as vocab, we have very little reading for literature, we are just now workign that into our weekly curriculum and I have a english program but I fail at teaching that to him; thats where I struggle at myself.

I wear jeans, my kids/I are in taekwondo for exercise and self discipline w/the added bonus of self protection...
we are very active in a nice church w/very modern music time, very active youth group w/a fast paced youth pastor..

however my SIL & BIL; are homeschoolers where they now wear long dresses, pulls hair back..NO public schools as they think PS children are "evil" (so to speak), they dont vaccinate, the dont take kids to ANY doctors excedpt chiropractor for natural adjustments, no dentists, raise chickens (thats the chicken coop/run I posted that i thought was gross and that they dont even feed the chickens anhymore; they dont care), they dont believe in BC and have 5 kids; ready for their 6th one soon (even tho she doesnt want anymore she says she can't tell her husband no as it goes against the bible..and she says she can't handle anymore..and she cant), they drink raw goats milk (ick IMO), they are very judgemental and go to a "NON CHURCH" which is where other groups just like her (even somemore so, because some of them believe in arranged marriages) let the husbands lead worship w/o music/instruments as they shouldnt be used in services and dont believe in organized churches...that being said; I cannot relate to them.

Bad me: I watch tv..I do cuss (working on it, was a soldiers wife for a while), wear jeans, go to an organized church, my 2 littlest ones do go to public school (5 and 7), my son is extremely active in youth activities (organized)..
we are considered bad role models for their children so we can't even let the kids get together...

We struggle at finding places for my son to fit in..he is lonely b'cuz he's like me...a ppl person..he REALLY needs outside ppl in his life..and I cant be it..
it cant be just church, where his youth group friends are older b'cuz he can't deal w/kids his age, he can't deal w/their stupidity he says and their judgemental=-ness (which he has some and he's working on it..definitely not perfect)..and it can't be taekwondo where there is no down time..

I'd love to find a group in our area for him to make friends with..with families that have similar interests..doesnt have to be exact; but we just dont want looney and we dont want to have to really pay for him to belong
to a group in our area..but the HS'er groups in our area; area all like my SIL...

I'm starting to feel like WE ARE THE LOONS..b'cuz we are different than traditional "what you would think" homeschoolers would be like..

All this to say I FEEL YOUR PAIN honey...I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!
 

redhen

Kiss My Grits...
Premium Feather Member
11 Years
May 19, 2008
35,106
205
458
Western MA
Uh, yeah.... anyone that asks you to sign a testament of faith is kinda creepy... well, actually, very creepy. What happens to you if you break the contract?... *shivers*
Keep looking..the right group is out there for your family... dont bow down to wacky contracts and such... *more shivers*
Either they accept you for what you are.. or you do NOT want your children around them ....
hugs.gif
 

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