Discussion in 'Other Pets & Livestock' started by abbygibson1212, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. abbygibson1212

    abbygibson1212 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Nov 29, 2014
    I got a new horse, and he's a nice enough horse, and very beautiful, but I just don't get along with him. Has any one else had a horse that you just don't click with? If so is there any way to get over it or is it best to keep looking for a horse that you can bond with?
  2. oldhenlikesdogs

    oldhenlikesdogs I Wanna Be A Cowboy Premium Member

    Jul 16, 2015
    central Wisconsin
    I bought one once that was too much for me, I didn't like him and he didn't care for me, I traded him for a pony that was more my fit. A great relationship with a horse starts with a good trusting bond, it might develop with time and work with your horse, but if you are uncomfortable or don't like him he will know. It's always best to try find a horse you love.
  3. jamesglasman72

    jamesglasman72 Out Of The Brooder

    If you really like him but don't get along with him you need to build his trust and you need to have trust in him. In order for anyone to get along with a horse trust is necessary. In order to build trust it will require lots of patience.
  4. Bunnylady

    Bunnylady POOF Goes the Pooka

    Nov 27, 2009
    Wilmington, NC
    Finding an animal that "clicks" with you can be tricky. I used to work at a boarding stable, and during the years that I was there, I had at least a hundred horses come under my care. I managed to find something I liked about almost all of them. I did the most basic horse care - feeding, turnout, blankets, holding for the vet or farrier, etc. Because I wasn't riding or training, I got both the best and the worst from them. Every horse loves the person who feeds them, but some will think they can walk all over them, too. So to some degree, I was training - training these horses how to behave around me.

    I don't think I ever met a perfect angel. Most of the horses tested the boundaries in various ways; some did a lot more than test. We only had a couple that I thought were truly dangerous - specifically, these were food aggressive horses that had no respect for anybody because somebody had let them get that way. I saw horse/owner partnerships that seemed like marriages made in Heaven, and others that were train wrecks in the making. I saw animals that improved tremendously with the right owner, and some that were basically ruined by the wrong one. I watched some very green riders grow in skill and confidence, and others that I think may have gotten soured on horses for life.[​IMG]

    Generally speaking, the best horse "partners" were experienced horses; those that were 10 years old or older. These animals were less reactive, and seemed more willing to do what they were told to do. I did know a couple of younger horses that were very good with inexperienced handlers, but they were low horses in the pasture, too - animals whose basic personality was very laid-back and unassertive.

    I'm sorry, but my opinion differs from that of the above two posters - a good relationship with a horse isn't based on trust, it's based on respect. I have two horses that I can tell you now, nobody can trust. Well, that's not quite true - anybody can trust them to try to do things that they shouldn't. These aren't "bad" horses, they are just horses with a dominant personality, and you need to be more dominant than they are to be safe around them. Latte and Syd are both "boss mare" types, and they are constantly checking to see if I am still the boss (which is actually quite normal horse behavior). In the horse world, these "challenges" can be subtle, and it's up to me to recognize them when they happen and deal with them appropriately. For example, one time I was brushing Latte in the barn aisle, and talking with another person who happened to be there at the time. At one point, I was standing near Latte's rump, and I had taken my attention off of her to speak with this other person. Latte shifted her weight and bumped me with her hip, knocking me back a step. You might think that this was just clumsiness on her part, but I know this horse - she is anything but clumsy and she knew exactly where I was; this was her, "acting up." She got reprimanded for it, which is what she expected, so we were good. If I had ignored that small act of rebellion, she might have escalated to something a lot less subtle (like a kick), and sooner or later, I'd be getting hurt (Latte is a 15 hh QH - believe me, I have respect for her, too). Before I bought her, I had a couple of years of working with her and around her, and I saw her kick and bite other people - so I know, she will go there. For me to be safe around her, I had to effectively tell her, "you don't go there with me."

    Being the boss isn't about being a bully - Latte actually needs me to keep her in her place. The dominant side is the reactive side, and when Latte tries to call the shots, her brain falls out. Somebody has to be in charge, and when Latte knows that I'm in charge, she doesn't have to worry about every little thing, she can let me do the worrying for both of us - and that's where the trust comes in.

    Alpha horses can be a pain to live with, because they keep you on your toes, but that can be the difference between horse ownership and horsemanship. They aren't for everybody; dealing with one can either make you or (sometimes literally) break you. Personally, I do not like drama; there were some animals that I was quite relieved when they got moved on to other barns and I no longer had to handle them. But figuring out what you can deal with, and learning how to get a handle on what you don't want to put up with, is all a part of being a horseman.

    To some degree, every horse will challenge your leadership, at least once in a while. If you are a timid rider (and other posts have led me to think that you are), you need a horse with a laid-back, accepting personality; one that won't challenge you very often or in big ways and which will be satisfied to get put in his place when he does. It would be very helpful if you can find an experienced horseman that you can trust to help you find the right horse, and teach you what you need to do to keep it being the right horse.
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2016
  5. abbygibson1212

    abbygibson1212 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Nov 29, 2014
    I definitely think he is a dominant horse, and maybe if I wasn't so timid and a beginner I could handle him, but I don't think I'll be able to. The two horses I had before (though they weren't broke to ride, one was green) were low horses and I got along awesome with them! My mom keeps telling me to give this horse time to adjust, but he's been with me for a month and a half and he's adjusted to everything except me. It just doesn't feel right with this horse, and I don't think my mom understands how that feels because she's never had a horse
  6. jamesglasman72

    jamesglasman72 Out Of The Brooder

    I have worked with horse handlers who there first goal is to make a horse to respect you and horse handlers who first want the horse to trust you. I like the handlers who gain a horses trust first then respect because a horse can't respect you if he doesn't trust you to handle him. A horses natural instinct is to run away from danger but if he trusts you then he will let you handle him in a calmer manner. Now don't get me wrong a horse does have to respect you but if you want him to respect you then he has to trust that you will give him the same respect back. You can't let a horse be the boss over you but if you get to aggressive with him trying to make him respect you then he will be a lot higher strung and harder to handle. When a horse is brought into a new home it needs time to adjust more than just a month some will take up to a year to adjust. In my opinion you will need to spend lots of time with your horse grooming him, and providing him with all of his needs.
    I once had a farrier tell me that he bought a horse that was suppose to be really aggressive therefore the owner didn't bother to trim his feet when the farrier got him the horse wouldn't hardly let the farrier touch him but once he built up a little bit of trust with the horse he trimmed his hoofs and that was the end to the horses aggression. Sometimes it can be little things like who feeds him or who grooms him etc.
    Hope this helped.
  7. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    My first horse and I bonded really closely. I think we bought her when I was ten and we did everything together. Sadly, she had to be euthanized due to a really serious injury she got while being loaded into a trailer. After that, I was never really able to bond as close with another horse (I don't do much now with horses other than veterinary stuff for school). We did get another horse shortly after and I never really bonded with him but I still was able to enjoy riding him. At that point, competing wasn't what I was doing, so a close bond wasn't as important to me. I swear that horse is smarter than me though, so sometimes he would get frustrated with cues I was giving until I learned them (he was a former ranch horse who knew a ton!). My dad seemed to bond pretty close with that horse though.

    It's really hard to tell if you will get along with a horse when you're trying them out and they usually don't even settle in to their new home for at least six or so weeks, so if he is still new, give him a bit of time. Otherwise, you'll have to evaluate whether getting along with him will affect your riding and training. A horse can be taught to respect, but that's not always the same as bonding or getting along with a horse's personality. I've ridden some amazingly trained horses that I knew I wouldn't get along with personality wise. I will say that it can certainly be a factor in your enjoyment of riding and it may mean selling him and getting another horse if you find it doesn't work out.

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